The Holdaway's

Happy 8th Birthday Payden!

2009-12-13T11:38:00.000-08:00

Today is Payden's 8th Birthday! I can't believe it! Oh how time flys by! Gracie, Acen, and I went and got him some balloons and a little Christmas Tree. They helped me uncover his headstone which was buried under all the snow we got last night! They had fun! As much as it seems like the time flys by, at the same time it seems like it was a LONG time ago. I feel like it has been so long since I held him, smelt him, kissed his face. I still do however remember all those emotions, and little things as if they were yesterday. I still remember the ways he smelt, it reminded me of lilacs for some reason. lol. The way his hair was long enough to cover the top of his ear, and how dark it was. His eyes black as black, and how when I first saw him, it was like he was looking at me, and knew how sad I was..I remember holding him so close to me, how small he was, how even though he made no noise, I still rocked him and patted his tiny bum, motherly instinct I guess. lol. Today made me think a lot about what kind of child he would have been, being that he would be 8, I wonder if he would have made the choice to be baptized. I would like to think so. :) Gracie said to me, "Well, if Payden was alive he would be big enough to play in the snow with me.. Acen is just a little shrimp!" lol. She talks about Payden a lot, and its so funny because I don't really remember talking too much about him with her, not really knowing how much she would understand. I mean i mentioned him to her here and there, but at times she acts as if she was here first, and went through the loss with us. I honestly believe they are closer then I think, and I think they both knew at one time what his purpose here was. I just wish I did lol! Well, anyways I want to tell Payden how much we love him, and how much he helped me grow as a mother and a person. Happy Birthday BUDDY!! We love and miss you! xoxoxo

Thank You!

2009-12-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving as I pulled into the driveway I saw this suburban parked in the front of the house.. I thought this was odd, but went in. Well Sadie was there and I asked her if she had got a new car..she said nope. I was having a bad day anyways, and as I headed down the stairs to hide in my room she said.."I need you to help me get something out of the car." I was not to thrilled since I was looking forward to hiding out for a while before everyone showed up for Thanksgiving dinner. I have just been so stressed with so many things, worrying about how I am going to buy Christmas, getting Gracie switched to her new school, all of my assignments I had due for school, just EVERYTHING! Anyways, I walked out with Sadie to the car and she opened the back of the suburban and oh my goodness FULL of Christmas gifts from a 'secret santa'. I am not one to show emotion in front of people, so holding back my tears I demanded for her to tell me who had done this for us! She refused of course!! LoL! I cannot express the overwhelming feeling of appreciation I had. I thought of all the times I had participated in the Angel Tree's and bought gifts for low income families, and how the little things you do come back in some way. I in no way felt like I deserved this one bit, nor did I think that this would ever happen to me! I thought of how there are probably so many more deserving families then us. Then I thought to myself how when I graduate and get a good job and I can afford to I will return this thoughtful act to someone. I want to tell Sadie Thank you so much, and if the 'secret santa' is reading this by chance, just know I am so very thankful, and I will never be able to express to you what a relief this was for me, and how much I appreciate this kind act. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and may you be blessed this year! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

We did have a great Thanksgiving, and the kids are getting so BiG! Acen LOVES going to day care! He wakes up and first thing he has to get dressed and get his hair combed! Such a morning boy!

Gracie is doing really good, missing her daddy tho. He is in St. George for a little while, but she will see him at Christmas! She is switching schools... she will be starting Mckinley on Monday. I was worried how she would take this, but we had a long talk about it and as much as I thought she would be sad she wasnt! She was actually very excited. She has been having some trouble at North Park with some kids there, and I think she was ready for a new start! She has such a fun personality I know she will make new friends quickly!

No FUN!

2009-11-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

So last night we ended up taking Acen to the ER because he wasn't breathing really good. I had taken him to the Dr. on Monday because he had been running a fever all weekend. They did some x-rays of his chest and said he had bad croup, so they gave him a cortizone shot and sent us home. He seemed to be doing better til last night, when he woke up out of his sleep not breathing to well. So we took him in just to be safe. They gave him a breathing treatment and a perscription for steroids and a inhaler. Poor guy but what a trooper he was!

Gracie is 7 !!!!!

2009-11-12T17:51:00.001-08:00

Gracie had her Birthday Party at the Bowling Alley on Wed. She had invited a few little friends to her party. We had a blast! The kids had a lot of fun too! We had Pizza, bowled, and open gifts! I can't believe she is 7! Where does the time go! i put a few pictures of the party below! :)

Acen a little out numbered on the sidelines!

Gracie and all her friends!

DiVA!

Gracie and her bowling pin she got as a gift from the bowling alley!

Buds!

HALLOWEEN 09!

2009-11-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

^ All the crazy kids

^ mom n dad!

ME! RAWR!

^ Acen who wouldn't wear his vampire cape or makeup lol he was still cute!

^ Gracie and her glasses.. don't ask..

We had such a fun week for Halloween! I volunteered at Gracie's class party, it was alot of fun to see her at school around her classmates! It was worth the headache i had after having 20 sugar high kids running all over! We went to her school carnival (also a headache after that) where she won a certificate for "yummy wormy apple" with here pumpkin we made! and we went trunk or treating at the church after having a VERY fun Birthday Party for Sydney! It was alot of fun!!!

Hello again!

2009-10-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

^ Gracie's pumpkin we made for the pumpkin walk at her school Halloween Carnival. She won an award for it!! Way to go Gracie!

^ We went to California the first part of October, and don't really have many pics but this is us at Laguna Beach!!!!!!! YAY!

^ Gracie's grandma Bev made this for her when Kia died. She had colored this picture for Kia and Bev added a picture of her and Kia and put it in a frame for her! so nice!

Well it has deff been a while since I posted anything! wow! Things are crazy for us right now, alot has changed, good and bad, but I keep telling myself "Its not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain" That is my motivation right now.

So Gracie is in 1st grade now and she is loving it and doing sooooo good! I am so proud of how hard she is working to accomplish all she does. She spent last week hunting with her dad, she loves to spend time with him and be outdoors! She took a big blow tho on the 22nd of Oct her horse Kia passed away, that was tuff for her.. But she as always looks at the bright side of things, and has "been keepin' her eyes open for another on like Kia" so anytime she sees a old horse she says "MOM THERE IS ONE THAT IS OLD AND CANT WALK!!" haha!

And Acen.. he is gettin soooo big i cant believe it! He just turned 2 and man is he a go getter! He is talking alot I think Gracie and I are about the only ones who understand what he is saying but he tries! haha! He is so fun! Such a good little boy!

Now me.. well I just registered for school.. I know it will be a long road, but worth it in the end! Its something I have always wanted to do and I just took the chance and did it! I am excited and nervous at the same time.. I don't know we will see how things go!

PoPCoRN KeRNaLs.....

2009-06-16T20:14:00.000-07:00

So have you ever wondered what to do with those annoying popcorn kernals after you microwave your popcorn..... Why not shove them up your nose!!!! Thats what Acen did today :/ Now he had done this the other day, but i was able to get it out.. Today however he had it shoved so far up there i didnt even dare try.. So I did what any mother would do, I made Shad take him to the Dr. haha! i was scared! Either way it come out and he is fine!

OuR FuN DaY!

2009-06-14T19:13:00.000-07:00

Today i took the kids to Gateway to build a bear! Gracie has wanted to go and i told her after she was done with Kindergarten i would take her. She got a dog and named her Ellie.

Acen got a monkey who we named Max! We put the little sounds in them so his makes the monkey sound and he does a little dance while it goes 'ooo aaah' so cute!

(sorry about the mouth full of chewed up popcorn :/ )

They also ran through the water and had a BLAST! We had such a fun day, I love days we can just go and have nothing to do but whatever comes up!

YoU THiNk YoU HaD A BaD DaY...

2009-06-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

so, the rather large male cat that has been hanging around our house ripped a HUGE hole in my screen on my screen door... well Gracie's cat is small enough to get in the hole and then she crawls up the screen and gets stuck between the glass and the screen on the door... so i had to get a pic of this because it is so funny!

CaN'T SToP!!!!

2009-06-08T21:29:00.001-07:00

So I can't stop watching the trailer for New Moon the movie based on the 2nd book of the Twilight saga! Trisa and i have decided we will FOR SURE be at the midnight showing of this! Gracie also wants to come with us! And she is just as addicted to the trailer as i am! She loves Twilight and watches it just about everyday! She even had me read a bit of the books to her while i was reading them... I am so so so super excited!

NoT ToO MuCh....

2009-06-05T22:55:00.001-07:00

(yes i know Acen is choking the poor thing we are working on teaching him how to hold animals please dont report us, the cat was not hurt!)

So not a whole lot has happened since my last post... Gracie is loving not having school, i on the other hand miss my little 'break' lol but she has found something to pass the time, the other day we had this darling little kitten show up at our house, tame as can be, and she is loving every minute of it! She named her Patch, and cant bear to put her outside, she claims that the other cats 'pick' on her... but i told her i seen (and this is totally 100% true) this little kitten swatted off the two adult cats when i gave her milk! So i think Patch is the bully! Shad took Gracie fishing today, and they caught a few good ones, i didn't get any pics tho :/ Gracie said that she and her dad had alot of fun without her little "bother" as she calls him i have no idea where she heard this or come up with it, but.... i asked her how is he a bother? he just loves you! and she said he is always in her way... mk.. whatever! well this is about it for now.. hope you are all well!

GRaDuATiON!!!

2009-05-29T11:03:00.001-07:00

So after a few missed bus rides, and crazy mornings, we finally made it through Kindergarten.... Gracie is so super excited to start 1st grade! She did such a good job this year and i am so so proud of her! She made many new friends and her teacher was super awsome! I cant wait to see how next year goes!!! We went to her little graduation program last week and they sang songs they have learned and got their little diploma's!! WAY TO GO GRACIE!

( Shad was on camera duty.. a little blury, but cute!)

MoTHeRs DaY!

2009-05-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

Gracie made this really cute Mothers Day cookbook at school for me! Her teacher had each of the kids tell her the recipe to their favorite things to make.. When I got Gracie off the bus and she was telling me about this book she had made and that she got to tell her teacher how we make foods at our house to put in a cookbook, i was a little nervous.. and those of you who know Gracie well know why i was a little scared as to what was in this 'book'... But to my surprise she actually did a really good job! This was such a cute idea and once again made me realize she is growing up so fast and such a darling little girl she is!

On Saturday i took Acen to have his well child check up since we were behind on his shots.. we missed his 15 & 18 month shots... not too bad but i hate to be behind! So umm.. it was AWFUL! i had given him some Motrin before we left because he always does terrible with his shots.. fevers and all that bad stuff..so we get there and i thought i was doing good since i made the appt. at 10am and nap time was at 12 (or so) and i figured good i will get his shots and by the time we get home it will be nap time all good... not so much! They were behind at the doctors office.. so we had to be in the waiting room for ONE HOUR! He was so bored and tired by this time (the Motrin kicked in) and then they FINALLY called us back and then we were in the room for another HALF HOUR! He got so mad and threw himself on the hard tiled floor and banged his head so hard he had a huge red bump on his forehead! FINALLY the doctor came in i was about to blow up! They went over all his growth and he is doing so good! He is very small tho his height was in the 75% and his head circ. was 50% but my little peanut of a boy was only in the 4% of his weight! The doctor didn't seem concerned he said he looks just fine and has great muscle tone.. i guess he will just be small like his daddy! He is starting to talk more and more everyday! he says mom, dad, Gracie, pepper (the cat) hello, bye, luv u, night night, thank you, yes , no , hot , more.. and his latest new word he just started the other day when pepper knocked him down and stole his ice cream i told him 'daddy will bring you home another one, ok?' and he replied 'ook..i sad..' it was the saddest thing ever and he was so very sad when he said it! :( he is also growing up so much it honestly kills me! i love being a mom and i love my kids so much! Mothers Day is hard for me i still do think of the little one i am missing.. but until i can be with him again i will still love and cherish what i have! :)

WHaT To DO WHeN iT's RAiNiNG...

2009-05-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

So today was really rainy.. and i don't know about you but my kids are ITCHING to be outside! So Gracie decided to put on her swimsuit for some reason and then she decided to put Acen in one of her suits too! O.o lol He didn't really care that it was a girl suit... he has one of his own, but she wanted him to wear her old one :/ Shad was less that thrilled by this, but i thought it was cute.. and funny!

JuST A FuNNy SToRY..

2009-04-19T20:58:00.000-07:00

So today we had a knock at the door and it was a member of our ward. They had brought Gracie a little envelope with her name on it. So she opens it up and its a little letter (like the missionary's get for their calling) and it said sister Holdaway you have been called to serve in the Japan mission (only more formal) and said she needed to be at the church to get on a plane and receive her instructions... I thought this was such a cute idea, and as i read it out loud to Gracie and i looked up at her she was almost in tears! Which if any of you know her that is uncommon. Well I said 'Gracie what is wrong?' she said "Mom.... I really don't think i am THAT big enough to be going on a plane to Japan!" LOL! I said "OH NO GRACIE! you are not really going to Japan its just a primary activity!" She was ok after that! She told me that she really would rather go on a airplane to see Brooklyn and Kena.. NOT Japan! haha! Just thought i would share that with you all! lol

EaSTeR!!

2009-04-12T20:11:00.001-07:00

^ Acen wasnt sure what to think of all the clothes and toys in our living room this morning when he got up!

This was actually Gracie's slide when she was little, and Sadie had borrowed it a while back for Laney, but i thought he would really enjoy it, and he does! He played on it all day!

He also got a little work bench and he would actually use the tools and pretend to work on his slide too!

Gracie got a new game for her Nintendo DS, the baby game and she loves it too! She got to name her baby and she gets to take care of it, bath it, dress it, change her diaper... everything! She named her Ellie. They got candy, clothes and sidewalk chalk! we keep things simple at Easter, and I think Gracie was expecting Christmas all over again, I had told her all week if she wasnt good and didnt listen the Easter Bunny would not leave her anything... (she had a bad week she had strep and had to be home from school all week since it was spring break also.. it was a LONG week for us) So anyways she was in a super bad mood last night and Shad and I had told her that the Easter bunny was not going to come if she didnt shape up... So she got up this morning and she didnt see her game she only saw the clothes... And she came over to me and looked so sad and said.. "Well, I guess you and dad were right i must have really been bad all i got was clothes.. " I said well i thought i seen a game over there.. Then her eyes light up and she was so super excited! haha! All and all we had a nice Easter weekend!! I hope you all did too!

BiG BoY!

2009-04-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

My little boy is not so little anymore.... Last week I had taken him up and layed him down for a nap, he took his usual 2hr nap.. then just as i was going up to check on him, here he came down the stairs, with the BIGGEST smile on his face! I said 'oh no.. Acen did you get out of your crib all by yourself?' and he said "mmhmmm" and he was SO proud of himself! I didn't know if i wanted to laugh or cry! So I guess one good thing is i don't have to worry about the ladder on the bunk beds anymore because we took them apart and now he has his own big boy bed! He loves it, although we do have to shut his bedroom door because that night of his discovery that he could get out of his crib, Shad didn't have time to take down the crib and take apart the bunk beds so we had to put him in his crib and we had a little night owl... up all night running around from 3am-5am until he finally fell asleep on the kitchen floor :/ which was funny to me because he never wakes up during the night, or at least i didnt think he did O.o I just don't know where the time goes! Gracie never got out of her crib although she was in such a hurry to grow up that by the time she was his age she was potty trained and in a big girl bed! I honestly do not know where the time all goes, seems like we are in fast forward all the time!

Twilight....

2009-04-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

So I finished the books the other day, and i have to say i am kinda sad... and i find myself wondering what to look forward to with my (seldom) spare time i have... :/ I really enjoyed these books! I mean its pretty bad when you dream about them! LOL! If i had to pick a favorite part i dont think i could, I honestly couldnt put these books down! So I am not going to go too much into it other then if you have not read them (which i am sure most have since they have been out now for a while) just take my advise and read them! :)

In LiKe A LiON... :/

2009-04-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or are any of you feeling like Spring will never get here..... I am about going crazy! Then just as it seems like we are getting there with some nice weather... BAM snow... UGH! We don't have too much going on here.. other then trying to stay warm.. still. Although Gracie lost another tooth! She looks so silly! haha! Yet so BIG! I can't believe it, and she is very much on her way to 1st grade! WTHeck! Where does the time go..

Today we had SEP conferences and we went to meet with her Teacher. Gracie is doing really well and has shown MUCH improvement. Her Teacher agrees with me on the fact that Gracie is just going to be Gracie, which means she does things as she is ready and is not on any one's time but her own. She is VERY capable of what she is asked to do, and accomplish, but it has to be her time. The hard thing with this is when she is doing her testing if she is not having a 'good' day, she pretends not to know things or is distracted... Her Teacher says she KNOWS that Gracie knows the things she is 'saying' she forgets... We are working on this.. :/ She is also VERY ready for nice weather and is driving me crazy about 'when is school out and the nice weather coming so we can go to the horse races' I keep telling her i am JUST as anxious as she is.

Acen is... well lets just be honest here.. Acen is a MONSTER! I swear no one would EVER believe me when i say that because he is so shy around other people, and seems to put on a good 'front' that he is nothing but a angel child.... but he is out of control! I am running out of ways to 'Acen proof' my house he figures out a way to get into everything! His new favorite thing is to climb the ladder to the bunk beds... This has never been a issue and we have had the bunk beds since before he was born, i guess they JUST now caught his eye as to something he can do to get in trouble. He is just on the go 24/7! I mean i have to keep all the doors to every room shut in my house, i don't know what will happen when he is tall enough to reach them and open them! O.o He also loves to pester his sister to the point she cries! A 18 month old making a 6 yr old cry?!?! That's bad! Although if you ask me she has had it coming! She has in the past done some not so nice things! He pretends to give her a toy and then yanks it away and shouts "NO!" and runs..

As for me i made the 'mistake' of watching Twilight, not having read the books yet, and the movie so leaves you hanging! So i called up Trisa and asked to borrow all her books so i could see how things end up! I couldn't take it! So i have been reading almost non stop for a week and a half now! There are 4 books to the saga, i didn't read the 1st since the movie was based on the first book, and started with the 2nd one which picks up where the movie left off. The books are long, and I hate to read, BUT i am telling you, i have really enjoyed these books! I am now on the 4th (and last) book. It has 754 pgs i am on pg 557... Almost there! I am kinda sad tho :( I have really enjoyed kicking back while Gracie is at school, Acen is asleep (thank goodness) and reading these books! If you have not read them you should!

FuN At ThE BaRN!

2009-03-18T07:21:00.000-07:00

Last night we went up to Shad's parents and Gracie wanted to ride Kia, and of course Acen wanted to do whatever his sister was doing! Gracie got this horse from Nick and Alicia last summer. Nick is one of the guys Shad rides for and he is super good to Gracie! (and Shad) They had so much fun riding her!

Then she had the idea to ride in buckets on the horse walker! So Shad got it all hooked up for them and they had a blast! I didn't really think Acen would want to do this too, but....

Of course he did! I know he looks really uncomfortable, but he thought he was big stuff with his sister! lol We had a fun time!

LeTs CaTCh Up.....

2009-03-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Lets start with little miss going on 20.... Gracie. Well as you can see she has lost her first tooth, and has another not to far behind from falling out! She is doing well in school, and busy as ever! Even if i had the time, and my fingers could take all the typing.. I don't know that i could catch you up on all that she has been doing! She has had a few 'boyfriends' so far i lost track, she gets the directions to their homes thinking we will take her there, ummm.. no! O.o One of her most recent funny stories, she has a book that she has to bring home to read to us and then take back to pass off.. Well the one book said 'FAT CAT' well we don't say 'fat' in our house and so she was hesitant to read it... I told her that if its in a book and for school and she is not directing it towards someone its ok.. so she did and she passed it off. Well about a week later she had a workbook she was doing for class and she was supposed to write the first letter of the picture beside it. Well i was checking her work as she finished and there was a picture of a umpire, and to the side she wrote 'fat' .. i said 'Gracie, why did you write the word fat out to the side of the umpire?' she said ' Well.. cuz he is fat..' now i was trying so hard not to laugh but omg! how could i not! lol! So we fixed it and she changed it to a 'U'... :/ Besides all the silly school stuff.. she has been going with her dad to call in coyotes, looking for drop horns, and went to a few chariot races here n there. She has really got into reading tho and loves to do it! She is looking forward to this summer and the horse races, I am too... I am so sick of being in this house! The highlight of our day is taking her to the bus! Although Acen does miss her and hates for her to go he does enjoy the car ride! She is such a good helper with her brother and loves to take care of him! Which brings us to the little monster himself... Acen banana goober (as we call him)

My little man is now 18 months old, and FULL OF SPUNK! What a go getter! I thought when he was a baby he would be more layed back n easy goin.. as he is BUT... almost toooooo much! He thinks he is INVISIBLE! And he is so into everything! I mean I know this might sound 'white trash' but i have yet to find anything better.. so if you have any ideas, please tell! His ALL TIME FAV thing to do is open my oven door and stand on it, well jump actually! Now my oven is fairly new and i am not about to have him break it, well i have a lock latch but on my oven when i flip it over it does the self cleaning, plus he is smart enough and tall enough to flip it back, well I just kept dealing with it thinking he would get bored of it, until one day i was getting dinner together and turned on the oven to pre-heat and after a few min. i could smell this yucky smell.... so i open the oven and.... dun dun dun MY CORDLESS PHONE ON THE RED HOT WIRE! the antenna melted and smoking! O.O So now i was like mk.... what do i have that i could like KEEP HIM OUT! So i see a shoe lace, and that gave me the 'white trash' idea to tie the handle of the oven to the handle of my cupboard above my stove.. I am sure there are some sort of child proof contraptions out there, but hey this was free and it has worked so far! lol!And that is just the tip of the iceburg of all his 'monsterness' he is such a good little boy tho! and so sweet! he LOVES Gracie and omg, when we go get her off the bus he gets so excited jumping up and down screaming "GRACIE GRACIE!" and as she gets to the car door he tries to open it for her, so sweet! He goes 100 miles an hr and i cant let him out of my site! Shad had him up to his parents the other day, and he said he was RIGHT by him and he said Acen in a split second got over by the horse and as Shad went to get him away the horse stepped on poor Acens little hand! :( But it could have been way worse, and he was just fine, barley a scratch! I could go on and on trying to catch up, but i am not going to, i will start from here, and try so very hard to keep up! But yes we are all well, happy, healthy, and loving life!

Happy Birthday Payden!!

2008-12-14T11:54:00.001-08:00

Payden Shad Holdaway

3lbs 17 inches

December 13, 2001

Our story...

As most of you all know Shad and I lost a son, his name is Payden and he would be 7 yrs old..

I found out i was pregnant on June 13th 2001, we had been trying to get pregnant for 1 1/2 yrs, so this was so exciting for us!! Shad had always wanted a boy, so at my 17 week appt. we had a ultrasound and in fact we were getting a BOY!! Shad was so so excited!! I spent many weeks shopping and getting things ready for this little guy to come home with us! My pregnancy went perfectly.. nothing to cause any concern.. When i was 33 weeks I had gone into work and I was a little side tracked because a few days before my grandpa had passed away, and we were all preparing for the funeral so the night before we had been out late shopping for dresses n stuff, so i had a lot on my mind and i was a little tired.. I got home that night and thought to myself, i have not felt him move today... I said something to Shad about it and he like any guy told me i worry to much and he was fine prolly just sleeping.. but I still felt a little different... I told myself if I had not felt him by morning I would call the doctor.. So morning came I drank a HUGE glass of OJ and sat in my rocking chair, waiting, waiting, hoping, praying I would feel something anything a flutter just SOMETHING!! I finally called the doctor's office and they told me he was over to the hospital and i could just go over there.. So i drove myself in to the hospital and Ronda Merryweather was there she took me back and hooked me up to the monitors and to my surprise a heartbeat!! By this time my mother in law had come to sit with me and since there was a heartbeat she decided to go back to work... I still wasnt convinced everything was ok.. Then the doctor came in and he checked my pulse and looked at the monitor and said well lets just go get a ultrasound just to see whats going on.. We walked down the hall to the ultrasound room and the tech started to do the ultrasound. Ronda was holding my hand and as the tech got to the heart I remember Ronda squeezing my hand.. I knew... and the doctor said "I am so sorry there is no heartbeat.." those words ring loud and clear to me even now, i will never forget those words... The monitor had picked up MY heartbeat not Payden's.. I covered my face and broke into tears...I heard someone ask me "who can we call for you?" I couldnt even think, let alone speak.. I just said "my mom" and gave them the number and then i gave them Shad's work number... It seemed like my mom got there so so fast, and she wrapped her arms around me so so tight, and man did i need that hug!! They were still doing the ultrasound trying to see if the cord was around his neck or what they could see...I didnt care, he was gone, and finding out why at that point seemed pointless.. Then we went back to the labor and delivery room where they asked me a few questions and explained to me what would happen next... I couldnt even hear them or what they were saying it was all such a blur.. My dad gave me a blessing and i am so sad because i dont really remember what he said, but I heard it was AMAZING, I do remember him telling me "you will be a mother" and thinking to myself.. how can he say that, how does he know, why would he promise me that after all it did take us a long time to get pregnant and whose to say i would ever be again! After the blessing i felt so calm.. Then i heard someone say "Shad's here.." the room cleared and he walked in, he looked so sad... my heart ached for him, but we both knew that no matter what we said nothing would make us feel better. We just hugged.. I was in labor for 12 hours.. I was so drugged up that I dont remember much of it, but i had told my doctor I wanted to remember holding my baby, so towards the end they stopped giving me so many drugs, it was awful! I have had two kids since and that was nothing compared to the pain I had during this delivery! Payden finally arrived.. the room was so quiet, and even if i had the words to explain the spirit and the warmth in that room at that moment, i couldnt.. He was PERFECT in every way, and at that moment looking down at him, I remembered something Sadie had said to me earlier... How does it feel to be the mother of a perfect child..? And in all honesty, and this might sound cruel.. I was angry! How could God do this to me? what had I ever done? I looked down at this little tiny boy, all his black hair, tiny toes, tiny fingers, little button nose.... How could God take him away from me!!!! I was so so mad! I felt cheated! This wasnt fair! I think in the back of my mind i was hoping for a miracle... That didnt happen tho.. There was no first cry, no movement, his lips were blue.. he was in fact gone. They wrapped him up and brought him to me, he was so tiny! We spent some time with him, then they took him to the funeral home.. I was in the hospital without my baby.. hoping that noone came in to deliver while i was there, i didnt want to see or hear any baby! I know that sounds mean, but I knew it would make it that much harder! We left the hospital with empty arms, came home to a empty nursery.. I had my ups and downs, i didnt know what i wanted.. i wanted to be left alone.. then i was mad that i was alone.. my poor family had no idea what to do for me! I think after all of that the hardest thing for me was closing the casket, not knowing when i would be able to see him again. I know things happen for a reason, and one day I will know why this happened to me. For now, I will enjoy what i have and cherish every crazy minute with my kids, because I am so thankful I have them, and I cant wait to fill this hole in my heart one day when i am with my Payden! I love you see you soon! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Acen!

2008-09-22T20:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so i am a little upset.... for some reason i cannot upload any photos!!!! But last Thursday was Acen's birthday!! and i have some dang cute pics of him.... so i have been messing around with this trying to get them on here but no luck so i will just type a post and hopefully get to figuring out whats wrong and get some pics up sometime..

I am in shock at how fast the past year has gone! Acen has grown so much! I mean it seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital with him... I still remember being so scared during the delivery because his heart rate dipped very low and wasnt recovering.. I thought he was going to die, and most of you know we had already lost our little Payden, so this was a little scary for me, but he did fine and it was because his cord was around his neck.. He has been such a blessing to us and i am so thankful he is ours. He is the happiest little boy! he is walking all over and really starting to catch on to things!

He had his well child checkup today also and is growing well. He had to get shots and that was like honestly the hardest i have ever heard him cry, since he hardly ever really crys much! i am so thankful to have him here and healthy.. i cant wait to watch him grow and see what kind of person he will be! WE LOVE YOU ACEN!

Time flies........

2008-08-27T20:44:00.000-07:00

So Gracie has officially become a Kindergartner!!! I cannot believe it! The saying is true time sure flies when your having fun!! She has been so excited....but just to ride the bus!! :) So since Monday we have missed the bus twice.. talk about devastation!

The first time we missed it was the first day, this was not our fault believe me she got ready and was waiting, but we were not sure on the time that the bus would be here... and I guess we only missed it by like 5 min. So i drove her to school and she was a little upset. Then we got there and she told me she didn't want me to take her in, she wanted to do this on her own. And it didn't surprise me that while all the other (well most) kids were clinging to their moms legs for dear life, Gracie ran to the door and never even looked back!! Then she got on the bus to go home all on her own also, I have her bus number written on a piece of paper inside her backpack, and i was soooo super worried she wouldn't get on the right one! So Acen and I anxiously waited for her to get off the bus.... Just as I was starting to panic I saw the bus!! She got off with the biggest smile on her face! She loved it and she loved school too!! Even tho she says all the kids are shy!lol So the next day I kinda had a better idea as to the bus schedule and we made the bus to go that day, but then I got a phone call from her teacher at school.... I thought to myself "seriously.. already?" But she was just calling to tell me that Gracie had "got distracted" and missed the bus!!! So I left and went to get her, she tells me that she went out the wrong door and got lost.. I am not sure what really happened, but we made it home.. So I thought ok now we kinda know whats going on tomorrow will be a better day! It has to be! The day started out great it was early Wednesday so we left early to meet the bus and we made it on time!! I set my alarm on my phone so that i wouldn't forget to meet her earlier this time... well a few hours later i hear the door open, I look and its Gracie!!! sweating and panting!!!! For those of you who don't know we live a little ways off the main road so this is why meeting the bus is a little stressful, i cant see it from the house so it has to be somewhat timed.... So yes i had my phone upstairs and never heard the alarm and she had to walk home!!! I felt terrible!! As she walked in she said "MAN! that's one long dirt road!" My heart melted! So I got her a drink and a treat, she had to tell me all about her day, and I think she actually thought it was kinda cool to walk home!!! So lets just hope we get the hang of this soon!! I mean how hard can it be!! Wish us luck!

What the walking??....

2008-08-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

Ok sooo.... yes Acen is walking!! Slowly but surely... I cannot beleive it either and then to think next month he will be 1, its killing me! He is also starting to make out words, like mama, dada, baba and his newest one is when he claps he goes.. yyyyyaaaaaaa in his cute little boy voice!! Aside from this news not a whole lot has been going on, just trying to get Gracie all ready for school and get through this racing season hopefull with my husband not injured lol.... everyone cross your fingers! So yes this is short but sweet and i will update more as i get to it !!

a lil behind....

2008-07-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

Seriously don't give up on us! I am sooo bad! I promise we will catch up some time...maybe.. but I will try LOL. Things are going good, Shad is busy as ever and well that means I am too! (being a "single" parent most of the time!) Man I cant wait for summer to end.... not so much summer just horse races!! He is doing good he just got home from Montana where he ran 2nd in the futurity and WON the Derby!! YAY SHAD!! lol he was excited, its just hard to have him gone all the time... Gracie is Gracie, and its nice to have her home too! Shad's sister Tasha was here visiting for the past 3 weeks and I swear in those 3 weeks I think Gracie stayed home maybe in total 1 week!! She had a blast and I am so glad they all have fun together. I think Acen actually enjoyed her being gone (don't tell her that!) He didn't have to worry about being ran around with because see Gracie LOVES to play horse races and she makes him be the jockey so she carries him and runs around the circle... he likes it the first 5 times after that I think he gets a little sick of it!! He is growing up sooooo much and way tooo fast! he is standing on his own and starting to really really understand things! He is mimicking our words and loves loves his daddy! It kills me because I am home with him ALL the time and Shad isn't :( Its ok tho, i just tell myself he loves him so much because i am home with him and maybe he gets sick of me!! Well I know this isn't much of a update, but its all I have for now!! more to come....

Memories....

2008-07-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Lisa'a blog and thought it sounded like a good laugh! You know when you feel just sooo down in the dumps and almost anything that will make you laugh is worth a try?? Well I thought maybe this would be worth a try!!! here's what you do....

1. Leave a comment on my blog about a memory we might have had together. Big or small, funny or sad, whatever just any memory.
2. Then re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory. I think its a fun idea, and hey if anything worth a good laugh!! :)

lets catch up!

2008-07-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

So its been a while since I posted and believe me it's not because nothing has been going on! It's more that ALOT has been going on! I will start here.. We went fishing again this time we all got to go! Acen loved it, although we didn't catch anything we had a fun time! The pic above is of me working on this horrendous farmers tan of mine, and Acen drinking his new fav a capri sun!!

This is Gracie playing in the lake. She was collecting all sorts of things mainly rocks. Which by the way we "accidentally" left behind!!!

This is Acen just enjoying the time outside, he loves to be outside!

This is me and Acen playing in the water! He was so excited! He loved the sand in his toes, and I would swirl him around in the water and he would scream and laugh so loud! He wanted to get all the way in like his sissy, but i didn't have any extra clothes...oops.

Moving on.. Acen decided he would eat my stamp pad out of my scrapbook stuff. So that is why he has pink lips! He is into everything! As you might remember a while ago I told you all he has figured out how to take off his diaper.... well on Friday morning he woke up with no diaper, I have no idea how long he had gone without one. Shad was in Wyoming and when he called I told him that I was just glad he hadn't done his morning ritual (poop) and he agreed. Well later on I layed him down for his morning nap so he would be all rested for the fun water party my mom had planned for all the grandkids at her house for the 4th. Well I heard him wake up and I was in the middle of packing all our stuff, so I decided to let him play in his crib for a min. Well I went in to get him and I could smell this awful stench....... I am sure you have all guessed it I spoke to soon.... Yup POOP EVERYWHERE! I mean everywhere head to toe! As much as I would love for you all to see the pics Gracie took, none of them really turned out. The one that did turn out didn't do any justice and it was mainly a pic of his you know what, so anyways just take my word for it!! NASTY! I was gagging so bad I could hardly stand it! Acen was so proud, he thought he had done something wonderful.... not so much. Yet again moving on....

We were lucky to spend the night of the 4th in Wyoming, with the most spectacular fireworks! I forgot my camera tho! DANG! Trust me they were awesome! The following day we went to watch Shad ride at the races. Which by the way last weekend he got his very expensive jockey saddle stolen.... So if any of you have seen a very small black jockey saddle, run them down kick them and take it from them! Anyways that is a whole other post which I won't go into right now. But at the races they had body/face painting so this is Gracie with her zebra. They also had kid stick horse races out on the track! She had done this last year and she was so excited to do it again, because she has been practicing. And since playing horse races at our house is a daily ritual, I figured that she would do well. So she gets out there with the stick horse and i think she could have won it, but she was actually pretending to be the horse instead of the rider... she was raring up, and when she ran she was more like galloping instead of running, she ran a close 4th! Way to go Gracie!!

Acen wasn't able to participate in the activities, but he sure enjoyed eating Bev's racing licence. In fact that is what he did almost all day!

And last but not least this is Acen after he ate a powdered donut for breakfast. He loved it! He was so good all weekend, and even tho he slept through the fireworks, we had a good time! So now you are pretty well caught up, sorta.. It seems like we always have something going on, but this is the gist of it all.

9 months!

2008-06-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

Today Acen had his 9 month check-up! Man how time flies! He didn't' need any immunizations, but he did have to get his flu shot booster so he will be ready for winter. He had to get it in his arm, which i have never had to have my kids get shots in their arm only the leg, so it was kinda sad!! He did pretty good tho. Dr. Lloyd said he is doing terrific! When he was checking him out he was having a hard time holding him down, he asked how I hold him down for diaper changes, which by the way are getting very hard! I told him Gracie has to help me! He said he is very strong, and that he will be a handful when he starts walking because he will probably run run run!..I can't wait.... He weighed 17lbs 12 oz (10%) which he said it is normal for their weight to taper off once they get more mobile, and since he is very mobile, I totally understand. He is crawling almost at a run, pulling up to everything and getting into everything, walking along the furniture, and at times he stands alone or barley holding on with one hand. His height is 28 1/2 inches which puts him at 61% and head circ. is 45.6 which is 58%... He is doing so good and learning new things daily. He is waving and makes a noise that sounds a lot like "Hi!" and he will wave bye bye and nite nite. When he is tired and wants to go to bed, or for a nap he will start waving, until I pull out the camera, and then he avoids me!! That is another thing he isn't as much of a camera ham as he used to be, I have to work pretty hard to get a smile or even for him to look at me! He likes to share his binki with us, he holds it to your mouth so you can pretend to suck! One day Gracie was crying for who knows what reason, and he went and got his binki and held it up to her, it got her to laugh tho! Gracie thinks this is so fun! He will hold his foot out for you to play "this little piggy" and he love loves "I'm gonna get you!" he will scream and crawl away as fast as he can to the nearest piece of furniture and pull up and try to get away.. He is so fun, and such a happy little guy, we love him so much, and we are so thankful he is healthy and accomplishing all these things.

It's a.........

2008-06-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

GIRL!!

We have had quite a busy week, but the most exciting thing that has happened is my sis Kalli had her baby, and even tho she didn't beleive me that it was a girl I was right! In fact I even guessed the correct weight!! I am so good! LOL! we are so excited for them and I am so sure Kalli will have so much fun dressing her up and doing her hair, which by the was Sadie and I stocked up on some VERY cute headbands!! They have decided (after much thought) to name her Mayce Ann (adorable) she weighed in at 7lbs 5oz and 20 1/2 inches long. She is beautiful, as you can see in the slide show, and she is so very loved, especially by her three big brothers!! We are so glad to have her here, and that everything went good.

Acen is growing faster than ever! I will give more of an update on his stats and accomplishments after his well child visit that is coming up. ( 9 months!!) I just had to post this picture, I couldn't for the life of me get him to look at the camera, but he woke up and when I went to get him out of his crib this is what I saw.. somehow he managed to get his arm out of his pj's, the wrong way!! He is so silly, he has also learned how to get his diaper off!! I cannot let him out of my sight for a min. He is into everything!!

Gracie has been taking some swim lessons, and she is doing well! She loves to swim, but hates to get her face wet... I tell her that she won't be much of a swimmer if she can't get her face wet, we are working on it! I think it's mostly that she forgets to hold her breath when she goes under, but she is getting better!

This is Gracie with her best buds, Robbie and Katelyn. They had a mini cheer camp today. She did really well. I think she likes cheer more than dance, but she told me she just gets too sweaty... I love that she is so willing to try everything, and she does her best every time! I hope she finds something that she loves and sticks with it!!

Happy fathers day!

2008-06-15T20:23:00.001-07:00

I want to start off by talking about my dad. I honestly don't think there is ANYTHING this man cannot do!! He is like superman and Bob Villa mixed together!! Not only that, but he is so caring and even tho we've had our ups and downs, mostly when I was a teenager..lets face it what father wouldn't have had disagreements with a daughter like me?... but no matter what he loved me unconditionally, and now that I am a parent I know he only wanted the best for me. He is a great dad and an even better grandpa...I love you dad!

This is a picture of Shad, his dad Tim, and Payden the day we buried him. Shad's dad is great, and he is so funny! I love him to death and he and Bev are so good to us!! He raised a good son and I am thankful for that! And Shad is such a good father, I knew he would be even before he got the chance..I remember the night we were up putting things together for Payden's funeral, and he stayed up half the night making one of his jockey whips small enough to fit in his casket. I remember so many things with him while I was pregnant with Payden and I couldn't wait for him to be a dad!! He was so excited the day we found out he was a boy! He seriously jumped out of the chair! I remember the way he held Payden after he got here, and how he compared their similarities. So many things...I knew he would be a good dad!

He loves to spend time with Gracie, and she loves to spend time with him! They are truly best friends, she thinks the world of her daddy..what little girl doesn't?! It is so true when you hear that little girls have their daddy's wrapped around their finger, and she is no exception! He would go above and beyond for her! To be quite honest I don't think he was all that excited to find out we were having a girl, I mean he was because he just wanted us to have a healthy baby and for her to get here safe, but he REALLY wanted a boy, even tho he wouldn't say it. I knew. But when she got here he was so excited and it just didn't seem to matter what she was!I remember having to ask him if I could hold her, they have been hooked ever since!

Last, but not least.....( try to ignore my dr. in the pic, he is great, and he looks way more excited than Shad, but Shad doesn't smile much for pictures, and I didn't have a picture of Acen and Shad together, I know it's sad..) Anyways, his long awaited boy!! Shad is so good with Acen, but it's a total different relationship, in a good way! He was so excited to find out we were getting another boy, he actually had tears in his eyes, which gave it away since I didn't want to know what we were having, but that was okay! I love to watch Shad with my kids, he is so fun, caring, and I know how grateful he is to have them. I love him so much and I couldn't ask for anyone better. He is the best dad, and he always takes the time to include them in his life, and I never have to hesitate to ask for him to help or if he has things to do he always askes Gracie if she wants to go!! I could go on and on, but I won't, I will just leave it with this.. I love you Shad and our kids love you very much, you are GRRRREAT!!xoxoxoxo

Daddy Daughter day!

2008-06-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Shad took Gracie fishing for a daddy daughter date. She had collected a few worms the day before and she was so excited to go! They left bright and early, when they got up there Shad called and said that her pole wasn't working well it was only casting about 4 feet and since they were on the banks it was getting caught into everything. Then when he went to cast out his pole snapped in half...So they loaded back up and headed to Malad to the fishing shop and he bought 2 new poles..what a great guy! Then they spent the day fishing, Shad caught one and Gracie caught two! Shad said when they put them in the cooler Graice said "dad, they are so beautiful...Well, sorry fish that was your last swim!" LOL! She is so funny! I am so glad I have such a great husband that loves to take my kids places and introduce them to the outdoors, and teach them about the respect they should have for the outdoors and its wildlife. He showed her how to gut the fish and we are planning on having them for dinner tonight. I think it will be neat for her to see how to cook them and enjoy eating them too.. Here are some pictures from their day...

Trains, helicopters, and fun!!

2008-06-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Kalli and I decided to take the kids for a day of fun! So we took the train from Ogden to SLC and met up with Sadie and Laney at Gateway and went to the discovery gateway. We had so much fun and the kids loved the train, well, except Easton. He said it would have been cooler if the train had food! But I guess everything else was good. The kids had a blast with the life flight helicopter as the blasted off saving each other. Gracie asked us to look and see if the prepellars (sp) were working! Then they used the speakers to talk with each other. What imaginations they have!! Thanks Sadie and Kalli for such a fun day!

Our weekend!

2008-06-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

We went to the races again this weekend..(fyi many of my posts this summer will start with this sentence..) And, again, we had a lot of fun! We left our camp trailer up there last weekend, this just made sense since we were going there again, the camp ground is super nice, with hookups and right next to the track so it's nice to be able to go back and forth if we need to. Gracie met new friends, like always, and she really liked to share her ice cream with her brother!

Shad had a pretty good weekend, he won on his dad's horse Prince, we were excited, and Gracie was so excited to get in the win picture, I will post it when we get it back. He was tired, and sore because he rode in every race, but he loved every minute of it! I don't think that there are many times that he doesn't come home with some sort of injury, if it isn't a broken bone, which has only happened once thank goodness, then it is a sore knee from hitting the gates or a sore foot from hitting into something or someone, I must say the money they get paid isn't really worth all the injuries..to me, but to him it is, and he was blinded by all of his injuries and pain yesterday when he ran a very close 2nd (by a nose) in the Rocky Mountain Futurity where they ran for $31,000.00 (fyi he only gets a percentage of that) but he honestly could care less! He loves to ride and do well! We were so excited for him!

My MAN!

Gracie so excited to be at the races, and camping!

Acen exploring the trailer finding all sorts of places to hide and things to get into!

Gracie pulling Acen around on the grass, he loved it even when he rolled off the back and onto the grass!

Gracie (middle) Wiley (left) Kendall (right) watching the races, and no I do not let Gracie keep her head out onto the track while the horses run!! And yes her underwear are showing but she has no butt and all of her pants fall off of her, what do you do....

My little multi-tasker!

2008-06-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

Acen has a personality much like me, but this one I was so proud of! I am the kind of person that can find two different things to do in the bathroom while peeing! Shad tells me I am crazy and I need to mellow out, but I look at it like the more things I can do at once the better! Like the saying "kill two birds with one stone" That is my life! So when I saw Acen playing with one toy and then reaching into his basket for another, I was so proud! Not that this is really multi-tasking, but it's a good start! He is so so busy, always on the go! I think he gets that from his dad! He doesn't stay entertained with just one toy for long, Gracie is the same way...so is Shad. I am glad that my kids are so active, even if it gets a little crazy sometimes, I would hate it if they just wanted to sit in front of the TV all day! I think Shad would go nuts! Anyways this is Acen and his multi-tasking skill!!

My word for today????

2008-05-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Acen is really growing up way to fast! He is cruising all over, pulling up on EVERYTHING, and now he's starting to walk along furniture!! Where did the time go?! Yes I know he's just a little over 8 months, but I don't remember Gracie getting so big so fast....well yeah I do because I still cannot beleive she is 5!To make things even sadder (is that even a word? if it is I think I misspelled it..) Anyways I was so sad today because he woke up from his nap and I could hear him in there going "DA DA DA!" What the? I am with this kid 24/7! Don't get me wrong Shad is great and all, but he is super busy and not home much, so I thought for sure if he was to yell for someone it would be me!! And maybe he didn't mean anything by it, it could have just came out...but he is really starting to understand a lot of things and he does say da da da when he sees Shad, and he yells "E!" at Gracie which I take as him yelling her name, but I have yet to hear a "ma, ma" directed towards me, or even a "Hey crazy lady who takes care of me!"....okay, maybe I am taking this a little too personal, but seriously! I am sure it's nothing, I know he is a ways from talking, but I love to hear those words and know that they mean it, or even understand what they are saying. I will patiently wait until that day, but until then I will take it as the da da meant "this is my word for today..".

Memorial weekend!

2008-05-27T12:49:00.001-07:00

2008-05-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

Over Memorial day weekend we were, but where else?, the horse races! We decided to take our trailer this weekend since we have stayed in a hotel the past two weekends! Not that it was any cheaper with the price of diesel!, but my parents were taking their trailer too, and we thought it would be fun! My sisters and their families were coming up to stay one night too, so we were excited! We arrived on Thursday and stayed until Monday. My sisters came Friday and we went to the hotel to go swimming! (yes i know, Shad and I weren't "registered guests", but we stay there alot and my sisters were guests there so...well okay I can't justify it, but I won't tell if you don't!) So we had a blast! Despite the wacky weather, we had a good weekend, even if I forgot my camera for just about everything! Then on the last race of the weekend, Shad was on a horse that decided to head straight for the rail...what do you do, stay on and go thought the rail, or try to stop a horse that is on a dead run, and when it doesn't work bail? Needless to say he bailed, and I am glad! He knows all to well what can happen when you go through the rail. His dad used to ride and the same thing happened to him, only the horse went through the rail with him, and the rail broke and (graphic) went through the horses chest out it's shoulder and hit him in the face knocking out his teeth!! So luckily Shad bailed and is only a little sore! I keep telling him he is going to kill himself doing this, and he just says at least I will die doing something I love! (okay?) What do you do?? Then we headed for home first thing Monday morning to hear a little scratching in out fireplace.....bird? We got a sack put it in front of the fireplace and opened it up, no bird?... So Shad stuck his head in there and out came the bird! I would have taken more pictures, but I was screaming! It flew into my back door fell on the ground and Shad opened up the door and out it went! Then after that we headed up to the cemetery to take some flowers, we only got one picture because it was raining so hard! I hope you all had a fun weekend!!

Happy Birthday Sadie!!!

2008-05-26T10:54:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SADIE!!!!

I just want to tell Sadie how much I love her and how happy I am that she is my lil sis!! Even tho she is more mature than I am sometimes, and I feel as tho I go to her for advise more than she comes to me!! I have so many memories with you, one funny one that sticks out in my mind is when we did our little photo shoot!! (below) You are always so fun to be with and we always kept each other laughing! I am so thankful to have you as my sister, and I love how you can always make me laugh, and have such good advise, but you always know what to say to make me feel better. I will never forget when I had Payden and you rushed to the hospital (speeding ticket and all!) and as sad as I was you said to me "How does it feel to be the mother of a perfect child?" Those words made me feel so much better (as much as I could) and I have never forgot that! You are my BFF and thank you for being my sister!! (hope these pictures aren't too embarrassing!:))

PHOTO SHOOT!!!

Us being goofy!!

You and your TRUE LOVE!!

p.s. Thanks Eric for being such a good husband to my lil sis!! Otherwise I might pull out a can of you know what!! :)

Dance review

2008-05-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Gracie had her dance review tonight and she did awesome!! Shad was on camera duty while I filmed and for some reason none of his pictures turned out... I took the one above, but the slide show pictures are not so great..I don't really know what happened, they are just really blurry, but hey you can only do so much with two hands!! We were juggling a few things all at once! That's okay though, he was just helping out, and I am so glad he was there to help!! So anyways, we love you Gracie and you did great!! And THANKS to all of our family for all of the support!! You are all so great! (Sadie you had a good excuse!!:) we love ya!)

Preschool Graduation!!

2008-05-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

Gracie has officially graduated from preschool! We got her a little gift for graduation. She got her ears peirced last December, so we got her some "fancy" earrings (which we forgot to put in for her graduation..) and some cute little shoes. She thought she was pretty cool!!

As part of her "last day of school" they had a water party. So she got to wear her swim suit to school, again so excited! It reminded me of how exciting it was on the last day of school...oh so long ago!

So after school, and her dance practice, we went and got our subways for the graduation picnic. (another one of those busy days with one thing right after another) It was so fun to listen to all the cute little songs she had learned this past year. She looked so big up there singing!

She had told me earlier in the day that she was nervous for graduation. I asked her why and she told me in her little nervous voice that she had to shake Mrs. Jamie's husbands hand. I was a little confused as to what she was talking about, but then I figured it out when he was handing out these cute little books that Jamie had put together. They had some pictures of her and her classmates, some things she told Jamie that she liked about school, and what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her husband read the part about what they want to be when they grow up out loud. I was a little nervous as to what this would be, it changes everyday, but she said she wants to be a horse rider. Oh, I have no idea why she has no shoe's on, she just hates them!! I know this is gross, but do you interrupt the whole program to yell at her to put them on or like Shad says...Just let her be a kid! We love you Gracie Jo and we know you will do well in life! Keep up the good work!

My silly ones....

2008-05-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

Acen was snacking on some delicious cherry puffs and he picked one up and put it to his mouth and..... where did it go? He couldn't figure it out! Gracie was laughing so hard! Eventually it fell off and he just thought it was another one and went about his business!! lol!

And Gracie... Well I really have no idea what she was doing, but she thought it was silly and told me I should put it on our "logg" lol!

Oreo's anyone???

2008-05-16T09:27:00.001-07:00

Yesterday Gracie was having one of her favorite treats, oreo's, and Acen kept grunting at her so I thought maybe he wanted to try one, and as you can see he loved them!! He was so excited! I don't know if it was because he loved the cookie or if it was because he was being just like his sissy!

Needless to say I was glad it was almost time for baths, because I would have used quite a few wipes to clean him up!! Somehow it was all over his toes, his hair, the folds of his neck and I am sure you can guess what his hands looked like!! We had fun tho!

9 years!! Holy cow!

2008-05-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Our story begins.......

Shad and I met through one of my friends who was dating one of his friends and they wanted to go to girls choice and needed someone to double with. So I agreed, reluctantly..I really didn't know Shad and further more thought he wasn't even close to my type! I am so glad we went tho because little did I know that I would find the most caring, and loving person I have ever met! We had such a good time and we have been together ever since! So our date was on March 19, 1995, and it was literally the first day of the best years of my life!

THEN......

On December 26th, 1998 Shad asked me to marry him! I was a little upset because I thought for sure he would ask on Christmas day, but no ring...Then the day after Christmas he came to pick me up after I got off of work and he was acting all weird. I just thought he was in one of those weird moods. He told me to go out and start his truck which I thought was kinda odd, but really didn't think much of it. Then he came out and his face was all red and his hands were all sweaty...I wasn't for sure what was going on! Then we got to his parents house and he told me that his dad had lost his horse shoe ring while he was feeding the horses and we needed to help him find it. (still no clue, yes I am a blond) So we get out to the barn and I asked his dad what he was doing the last time he saw it. He said he was getting hay out of the wheelbarrow. So I start sifting through the hay and there is a little baggie with a ring in it..(still no clue) I said "Oh my gosh! Somebody lost their ring in this bail of hay!" And of course when everyone stood there looking at me like I was a total idiot, and noticed the look on Shad's face I THEN got it! I was so excited and I kept saying "seriously?" Then he got down on one knee and asked and of course I said "YES!" Come to find out the reason he was acting so weird at my house was because he was asking my dad for permission. Which still to this day he says he was making negotiations as to how much they would pay him to marry me....... Either way it must have been enough because on May 14th, 1999 we got hitched!

It was such a good day! And we were lucky that my dad was Bishop at the time so he got to marry us! I remember walking down the isle and looking at him and knowing he was my partner, best friend, and love of my life. He is everything I could have ever asked for, I know we are meant for each other. When we went into our interview with my dad before the wedding he asked us to set a goal as to when we wanted to be sealed as an eternal family and Shad and I both said 2 years. We were pretty close because 3 years later...

We were sealed in the Logan Temple, May 14th, 2002. This was such a special day! I had lost Payden 5 months prior, and I was 3 months pregnant with Gracie. I cannot explain to you all how close I felt to my Heavenly Father that day, and especially how I KNEW Payden was right by our side. We will always remember this day! I think we both cryed harder on this day than on our wedding day!!

Shad and I have had our ups and downs, but no matter what we have been at each others side! I think our marriage has gone through more than most, but we are still together and still very much in love! As I was thinking of what pictures and words I wanted to put on this post I couldn't choose because we have so many fun pictures and TOO many memories...But one thing is for sure we will have many more, and I can't wait to get old with him! His is truly the love of my life, and I know he loves me for me! He ALWAYS tells me that he loves me when we get off the phone, or when he goes to work, or just out of the blue. He is always doing things to try and make life easier for me. I know I am not the easiest person to live with, but he shows me the kind of person I want to be. I love that we always know what one another is thinking before we even say anything. One memory that comes to mind is the day we lost Payden and I was sitting in my hospital room just wanting him to get there, because he was at work, and I will never forget the look on his face when he walked into that room..I knew he was feeling sad too, but it was like he hurt so bad that I was sad that he wasn't even thinking about himself. I also remember the day that I found out I was pregnant with Gracie and how his face lite up! And of course the day that we went to the doctor when I was pregnant with Acen and the dr asked if we wanted to know what it was and I said "NO!" and he said "I DO!" so the dr took him out into the hall and told him...I didn't even need to be told because I already knew by the look on Shad's face that he was finally getting his boy.. So many memories so little time to tell them all, but I just want to tell Shad how thankful I am for him and thank you for having 3 beautiful kids with me. I am so glad I asked you to girls choice 13 years ago!! (holy cow).....

She scored a GOAL!!

2008-05-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today was such a fun day! It was the best Tuesday I have had in a long time! It was kinda crazy, but a good crazy! Today I had Laney and Carsen for a while so the kids all had fun. Then Gracie had dance and Sadie and I got to hang out for a while while she and Laney watched Gracie dance. Then we headed to her soccer game. Today was the last game and I couldn't be more proud of her! She finally scored a goal! She has been such a trooper, rain or shine she was so good to go play! I know it was probably hard on her to have dance and soccer all in the same day, and one right after the other, but she handled it very well. She has shown me she is capable of more than I give her credit for! They got trophy's and she was so excited she even took it into the restraunt with her! I want to thank all of our family for coming and supporting her!

Then my parents took us out to dinner, and Acen had some strawberries...He was pretty messy, but it is just one of many more to come I am sure, and he was having a blast!

This is the boys and Gracie (Laney was across the table) They have so much fun together! We missed you Kalli!!xoxo And again thanks to all who came and supported Gracie! We love you all!

Happy Mothers Day!!

2008-05-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day! I want to start off by telling my mother how much she means to me..and to be quite honest I don't know where to begin. She has been right by my side through thick and thin, and I mean THICK AND THIN! I wasn't the easiest child to raise that is for sure, and now that I am a mother I feel sooooooooo very bad! But she never lost faith in me and still to this day I am not the easiest person to have faith in, but she is always there. I want to thank her for showing me unconditional love, raising me with the gospel, being the VERY best example, and being my best friend! I love her so much, more than words could ever express! She always has the best advise about ANYTHING! If you ever need good advise call her! I also want to tell my big sister how much I love her, and what an example she is to me! She is the most patient person I have ever met! I love that quality in her! And my lil sis, she is so fun! I love to talk with her, she always keeps me laughing, and she is also such a loving and patient mom. My mom and my sisters are such good examples to me, and I thank them for that! I seriously have my doubts as to why I have been so blessed to have such a good family, and such good kids! I really don't deserve any of it! I love my kids more than anything, they have shown me the kind of person I want to be. Mothers Day is hard for me in many ways.. As some of you know Shad and I lost our first little boy, Payden, he was stillborn. He would be 6 years old. I always wonder what kind of a kid he would be, and I guess Mothers Day seems a little empty because I am missing a piece to my puzzle. I think my trial has made me appreciate my kids that much more. Gracie has been so fun! She is everything I could have hoped for in a daughter. She is so outgoing and full of life. She always keeps me laughing. Acen has been so fun. I only wish I would have had the guts to have him sooner! I love him and his little personality! I can't wait to watch him grow! I also want to tell Bev how much I love her. She is the best! She treats me like one of her own, and she is so kind to me. I guess I am pretty lucky! I truly feel blessed to have all of these wonderful people in my life, and the list goes on and on..I love you all and hope you all feel as blessed as I do today! Happy Mothers Day!:)

Really?

2008-05-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

You Are Pocahantas!

Free-spirited and wise. You have a strong passionate spirit that touches and changes all who know you. The wisdom and common sense that you have is really what guides you through life. Even so, you also have a very playful side that loves adventure and excitement.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

I took this from Lisa..I am quite surprised because I thought for sure I would be the mean step sister or something!! this was fun try it!!

Seriously??

2008-05-08T13:33:00.000-07:00

So I woke up this morning and was in a cleaning mood..which only happens about once a week. So today was the day I was going to do a good deep clean. Well I am cleaning along enjoying myself, all is going well and then I opened the door to the playroom.......Now this room has a door for a reason. We don't clean it too often, it's just pointless, but every once and a while I go in to pick up and vacuum..and sense Acen is cruising around I am trying to keep little toys picked up and the floors cleaned up, so we have talked with Gracie about keeping all her toys in the playroom and not all over the house, well she has done a pretty good job so far, but today I seriously came un-glued! when I opened the door I lost it, now I don't expect it to be clean and perfect, but this is just ridiculous, and frankly quite embarrassing. So I have no idea why I am posting this other than to let you all know that I had quite the day of organization ahead of me......

The pig pen..

Okay, so you see what I mean! You can't even see the floor! Apparently she has just been throwing things in there and where they land is where they are! I had glanced at this the other day, but I swear it wasn't this bad.. So needless to say, I layed Acen down for a nap and we went to cleaning. Yes I say we because I wasn't about to just pick it all up alone!! She said she had no idea why it was so messy and that it wasn't her fault, but I really don't think Acen did this, and I know Shad and I didn't!! She was such a big helper tho and we got it all cleaned up and organized. She has a tower with bins (not that you can see it in this mess) and I told her whatever didn't fit in the bins we were throwing away.. So 2 hours and 3 garbage bags later, we were finished. Then I decided since we were doing this we would do her and Acen's room. We went through the closet, and the dresser. I took all Acen's clothes that no longer fit and all of hers, bagged them up and put them away.. Needless to say we got a lot done, and even tho it is 3:00 in the afternoon and we are still in our pj's, I feel alot better about things!! I hate the mess, but I love the end result!

Catching up.....

2008-05-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

So I know it hasn't been too long since my last post, but we have had a few things going on that I wanted to post about..

To start, Gracie had a field trip at the Hospital this

past week. She has been so excited and we had to mark off the calendar the past couple weeks so she could "countdown" and finally the BIG day arrived! It was a lot of fun, and really educational! They started off at the nursing home, where she was pretty much just interested in the fish aquarium. (go figure) Then we followed our pink lady tour guide to the Hospital where they went to the supply room, I was pushing Acen in the stroller so I had to lag behind a little and didn't really get to hear about it, but I am just guessing it's where they keep their supplies..Then to the ER desk where Gracie so proudly announced this is where her aunt Kalli works, then they got to go to the nursery where they saw a newborn baby! I was so amazed at how tiny they are, it made me realize how big Acen has really gotten! Then they showed them a hospital room and how the bed works. Then out to the life flight pad, then we went to the Lab and they told them that they can test your blood, urine, vomit, and poop for all sorts of fun things! (keep the lab in mind) Then to the gift shop, billing office, and then to the X ray, this is the scary part because they showed them an X ray of a child who swallowed a button, any bets on how many kids will swallow a button to get a picture like this one?! I can't believe Gracie hasn't done it yet! Then after the tour we went back over to the nursing home and they took the kids into a room that two ladies share, and just to see how excited these ladies were was so neat! Then the pink lady asked all the kids what their name is and what was their favorite part of the tour...Well while all the other kids were telling how they loved the baby, and the Xray, I asked Gracie what her favorite part was and...yep, she told me that the Lab was her favorite.. talking about all the cool things you can do with blood, poop, pee, and throw up!! (is she for real? I think she should have been a boy!) I told her to tell her 2nd favorite thing the gift shop! I had a good time and so did she!

Later on Shad took the kids for ice cream, and Gracie was so kind to share with her brother! He loved it! He would yell at her until she gave him more!

Today we went to spend the day with Sadie and Laney. We went to Gateway and took them to build a bear. Gracie hasn't been there since she was about 2 years old, so she was in a whole other world! She picked out a black lab that has a magnetic mouth so it can carry a baby pup. I was hoping she would pick something different that she doesn't have a bagillion of already, but of course she wanted another dog! It was her day anyways so I couldn't tell her no. I am glad she got the dog tho because she loves it or I should say her, who she has named Lolli pop. She picked her out a cute little sweater with warm ups, a leash, and flower elastics for her ears. We had such a fun day with Sadie and Laney, and we wished Kalli and the boys could have came too!

I love being able to take her to do fun things! I love having a little girl, even if she acts like a boy sometimes..well, most of the time! She is everything I ever hoped for in a daughter, I don't think I could handle a girly girl! She is a perfect balance for me! It seems like lately we have been so busy with just life that we needed a little fun outing! Thanks Sadie!!!

my bubba's

2008-04-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

My dad gave Acen a sucker when we went over to their house for a little dinner for Shad's b-day. He thought he was so cool! He did such a good job eating it, and of course my dad gave him to me so I could clean him up!!

Shad took Acen for a ride on the four wheeler Sunday afternoon, and he thought that was super fun! I know it was a warm day and he is a little bundled up but he is just starting to feel better from the cold and ear infection! Better safe than sorry!

What is this stuff??

This afternoon I let Acen play outside on the grass for a while, at first he was a little nervous, he wouldn't even move he was like a statue, but then he started to run his hands over it and pretty soon he was grabbing it and pulling it out. He thought that was pretty funny! I just wanted to post a few pictures of my bubbas! Maybe because I feel so bad about his big fall this morning!

Mother of the year!! (not so much!)

2008-04-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

I know accidents can happen, but I feel terrible about this one..yesterday I had Acen in his bumbo feeding him and he turned to reach for something and about came right out of it! So I told Shad we really need to keep an eye on him. Well, today I wished I would have listened to myself and kept a closer eye on him. I was getting his cereal ready and talking to my mom on the phone, I was standing right by him, and in the blink of an eye he flipped out of the bumbo, which was on my kitchen counter, and belly flopped onto the floor!! I freaked!! I dropped the phone to grab him and he started screaming! I am sure my mother was panicked too, and I have no idea what words came out of my mouth or if she heard them or not! All I know is I panicked! He seemed to be okay and there was no blood, so I have just been watching him, but his top lip started to swell up, hard to see in the picture above,but I guess his bottom teeth hit his lip, but other than that he is okay! Now, please don't call child services, it was totally an accident, but I now know I need to stand right in front of him or better yet use the highchair with restraints!!

Things I love!

2008-04-26T10:30:00.000-07:00

I decided to copy Courtney and post a few things that I like. I thought this was a good way to let other people know about products before they buy them, I hate buying stuff that I have never used and then ending up hating them. So here are a few I like...

I love my scentcy warmer! I couldn't pick a certain scent that I like best, they all smell good! This is so easy to use and not all the black smoke to clean up! It makes my whole house smell great!! Love it!

I love this lotion because it leaves a shimmer on your skin! Gracie loves it to! It is a way good moisturiser too if you have dry skin, and it leaves you looking shimmery!! Great for summer!

Another great thing for summer! I love this sunscreen! And like Courtney I am always nervous about sunburns, and when we are at the races in the hot sun all day I know I need a good sunscreen for my kids and I use it to, I love the smell!

This is the green tea palmade, I love the smell of this and it really holds! I hate little flyaways!

I have such sensitive skin and I have to use clinique or I totally break out! I love this make up it's the foundation for their workout line, it really stays all day! I love their whole line, they also have a line for pores. I tend to have a problem with my pores and this has really helped!

This is the best soap ever! it makes your skin feel cool and clean, it smells great too! And this too is also great for sensitive skin!

I color my hair every so often and this helps it looking smooth and shiny (when I actually decide to do my hair not in a ponytail!) I love the way it makes my hair smell and feel! (in case you haven't noticed I love good smelling things!)

Which brings me to my nest fav thing...I love this scent! (for now) I tend to get sick of the smells of lotions and body sprays fairly quickly! As you all know for sure bath & body works has many to choose from!

I, like Courtney, love the way our clothes look when we use tide, and I love the febreeze scent too, it smells so clean, our closets actually smell like my laundry room!

Another good laundry item....clorox 2 for colors! This is also a great stain remover if you put a little right on the stain! works great! I also use spray and wash stain removal for stains!

I love my orange glo hardwood floor cleaner and it is so simple. Maybe it's just me but I feel like I hardly ever have to use it because it last so long and makes the floors look nice!

This is great because I don't have to worry if I get it by our food or toys or anything for that matter it is 100% safe to use ANYWHERE!

And of course my George Foreman grill! In the summer Shad has to diet a lot to ride, so we eat a lot of chicken, and to be quite honest we plane just eat a lot of meat! So I love this, it's fast, easy, and easy to clean!

Not only do I love the Bumbo, but Acen does too! Sadie let us borrow this, and I love it! We use it everywhere! To eat, bath, play, and it's easy to take with us when we are out of town because it has a tray too so it's like a highchair! Great item!

Another great baby item is this wash and lotion. I got this as a gift and I love it! One of the best things is they have pumps! (easy for those one handed moments!) I have noticed since I have been using it that it seems to last all day and smell all day, just keeps those cheeks soft for lots of kisses!! It has almond oil and vit e. its all natural!

Johnson's no more tangles! Gracie is very wild and she tends to have very snarly hair! She also has a very sensitive head so she gets upset when I am combing her hair and it's snarly, so this works wonderful!

I use this water proofer for our shoes. Especially Gracie's! It works really good, and when I bought her some flip flops the other day the sales lady told me that if you spay them with this (or any water proofer) that it keeps them from having those dirty feet marks that always seem to show up!

Happy Birthday Shad! The big 30!

2008-04-24T01:27:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear shaddy, happy birthday to you! I just want to tell you that I love you and I hope you have a very happy birthday! Our lives have sure been like a rollercoaster, but I have enjoyed the ride! I can't wait to grow old with you!!! Even though now you are already kinda old, I am sure we have many more years together... (husband wife high five ;)!!!!) luv ya!

Acen's new pictures!

2008-04-23T21:27:00.001-07:00

Hungry?

2008-04-23T20:23:00.000-07:00

So Acen has finally got his appetite back, and then some! I think the poor kid has been starving! Not that I don't feed him, I have tried, but he just hasn't wanted much to eat the past couple days. That has changed today tho! He woke up this morning and had a bottle, then about a half hour later he had a huge bowl of oatmeal with peaches, a thing of pineapple, and a thing of apricots and half a thing of pudding and then another bottle! and he downed it all in about 10 min. no lie! I felt so bad! It was like he was just so hungry! He would barley swallow before his mouth was wide open for another bite! Then he had a very long morning nap, he probablly couldn't move after eating so much! He was the same way at lunch and dinner, not to mention his little snacks in between! I guess its good he is catching up on lost time! Way to go bud! Glad you feel better!

A full little boy is a happy little boy!

Another busy day!

2008-04-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Our busy day started when we headed over to get Gracie's cavity fixed and she was such a good girl! She had never had the gas before so I was a little nervous, but it was so cute because at one point she couldn't see me and she shouted (very loud) "MOM!" and I said "I am right here." she said in her sweetest little voice, "oh, well I just wanted to say I love you!" it melted my heart and I said "I love you too!"

Then we hurried to get her hair done by aunt Trisa for her dance pictures! We were a half hour late for the appointment (sorry Trisa) but she looked beautiful!

Then we headed to pictures and we were 15 min. late for that..but she did great and smiled so good! I will post the pics when I get them back. She was excited to show off her new clean teeth!

Then we headed to her soccer game! This is her and one of her best friends Katelyn, they aren't looking at the camera, but Katelyn is sitting on the ball and Gracie is sitting on her lap! I thought it was a cute pic!

So as you can see we had quite a busy day, and no, not everything went smoothly, but I guess for the most part it went okay. The dental appointment was good. We just had a small cavity on one of her back molars that needed to be filled, and while we were at it we had him fix her bottom two front teeth because they were not in the best shape. They were rotting, and have been for a while.. He has polished them up 3 or 4 times but he decided that since they never really held up that he would just cap them, and at no charge for that matter! I guess he felt bad that we had to get them fixed so many times! Nice guy! and it really made my day! She was so excited with the new ones she kept smiling, she would tell me that she will not miss her "ugly" little teeth! (she was a big bottle baby, and she loved her sippy WAY to much!) Then we had to go to Shopko and get tights for pictures, and they had one pair in her size and the color we needed! So I was thinking man this day is going too good! Then I noticed that they had a small hole....but nothing some clear nail polish couldn't fix!! (thanks mom!) And I really didn't have much choice since her pictures were at 4:00 and it was 2:40 as we were leaving the store, and we still had to make it home to get her costume and be to her hair app. by 3:00...umm yeah right! So we were a bit late for the hair app., (1/2 hr) but Trisa is a great hairstylist and even better under pressure I might add! (sorry if I was hovering over you Trisa Thanks again!) So we left the salon at 4:05 (pictures were at 4:00...) and we made it there by 4:15! ( Gracie told me were going to get arrested, but I wasn't going too much over the speed limit!) Hey, when it comes to your kids you do what it takes, right?! She got her pictures and I am sure they'll be adorable, since she was so excited to show off her new teeth! Then we went to my mom's work and changed into the soccer gear, and headed to the game! All in all it was a good day, and I have decided that things just aren't always going to go as planned and who cares! As long as we are all happy, all is good and the rest doesn't matter!!

My sick little boy...

2008-04-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

Okay so now I feel terrible for my post about Acen being a bear! I finally took him to the doctor today because he isn't eating hardly at all, and still not sleeping well, even tho I know he is so hungry and very tired! So I took him in today and just as I thought full blown double ear infection! And on top of that he had to get a flu shot, the dr. had to dig all the ear wax out of his ears to see if they were infected and his two top teeth are coming in! He was so good tho just a lot for one day, and Gracie was very mad at the doctor for making Acen cry. She kept saying "I think he has had enough of that, when he crys hard like that we help him to be happy!" She is so protective! Once the doctor got the earwax out of the way he said yep for sure ears are infected. He recommended a flu shot and showed me his gums on top and how swollen they are! I feel awful! I have been giving him motrin off and on for a week and teething tablets, but I really didn't think he had a ear infection, that is until this morning I knew something wasn't right! He has been so good the past couple of days that if he would have been eating normally I wouldn't have thought much of anything! Poor guy! Then after the doctor I rushed Garcie to school she was already 1/2 hour late because the office was behind because they had an emergency so I called to let her teacher know we would be late, and Gracie was so mad!She told me that if the doctor would have just left Acen alone she wouldn't be late! Finally we made it and she went to school, but she had a little surprise for me when I picked her up...She came out holding hands with a boy! And he walked her over to my car! Then she got in and she was smiling from ear to ear and said to me "mom guess what!" I said "what?" she said " I have a boyfriend! And we held hands for like 45 min., but we decided we aren't going to kiss or hug, just hold hands!" I told her that she shouldn't be having a boyfriend this young and she said that his face is so cute to her and his hair is so cute to her! Holy cow! I don't even want to know what she will be like a 16! I don't think she really understands what a boyfriend really is, but she was sure excited, and I was sure NOT excited, although it gave me a good laugh! Shad on the other hand didn't think it was so funny! Anyways just a funny "Gracie" story! I am glad to say she is doing much better this week at listening and she is back to my sweetheart! I don't know what the deal was but I am glad it's over! Now if we could just figure out this boyfriend thing.....

Our weekend!

2008-04-20T17:05:00.001-07:00

This weekend we went to Boise with Shad's parents, and Todd and Janet Williams. We had to gate a few horses so they can run in a couple weeks. The trip started kinda bad because as I was getting things ready I set my jacket that Bev just got me for my b-day on my stove and then I thought I better boil some water for Acen's bottles for the ride and accidently turned on the wrong burner and came back in to find my coat on fire! Luckily we didnt burn down the house, but sadly the jacket isnt doing so good... So after that we finished loading the car, FYI we decided we need a bigger one, and off we went! I was nervous about how the ride would go because Acen hasn't been in the car this long before other than when he was 1 week old and we went to Idaho Falls, but he was so little he just slept the whole time, but he did sooooo good! He slept the first half, then we stopped for lunch he woke up and ate and slept the rest of the way. Gracie had a harder time, since she broke her portable dvd player she was forced to sing many songs, count semi's, bridges and find letters.. Finally on the 100th "are we there yet?!" we made it! She was so excited once we got to the Hotel the first thing she wanted to do is go swimming, but we had to hurry and unload our things and head to the track to help get the stalls ready for the horses and unload all of them. It was so warm the first day, Gracie ran around and Acen enjoyed sitting in her little chair. Then we headed to dinner and finally back to the room where Gracie was half undressed by the time we got there and into her swimsuit. We knew we couldn't put this off any longer so we all went swimming. It was so fun, and the pool was heated so Acen got to swim too! He loved it! He was screaming and squealing, and splashing, he loved to watch everyone else too! The next day was so cold, so the kids and I hung out in the room and Shad went to the track, when he got back we went to lunch and did a little shopping, then swam most of the afternoon, the kids were so tired the had a very long nap then we met up with everyone else for dinner. Then back to the room to watch the Jazz game, and to bed! Then we headed home this afternoon. We didnt do much since the weather was so bad, but it was nice to get out of the house and relax a little bit! We had a lot of fun!

If you bore easlily avoid this post..just a meltdown..

2008-04-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

We have been crazy busy lately as you all know, if you have read the last few posts, but I thought I would just add a couple of pics to keep things updated... I swear we have had something going on everyday this whole month. Between dance, soccer, pictures for all of the above, getting ready for the races, birthday parties, and just the everyday stuff I do...I guess busy is good but, sometimes ya just need things to slow down. As you can see in the top picture I found this stamp on Acens foot the other day when I took off his sock. Gracie has no idea where it came from or who would do that to a baby... what do you think? So, she has been on quite a roll lately I feel like all I do is have talks with her about her behavior! The stamp thing was just silly, but there has been many other incidents that were not so silly.. I seriously don't know where it's coming from, she is starting to be a real big rebel. I had to tell her like 20 times to stand up at her soccer game, all she wanted to do is roll around and not listen. Notice the picture above, that is her waiting her turn, not watching the other kids so she has some idea of what she is doing, I know this is just her personality, she has no attention span (shad). I do have to say she did an excellent job as goaly, she stopped all the balls! And I love that she is so outgoing, but is there such a thing as TOO outgoing..She is constantly in trouble for something! I know most of you are probably saying this is not a big deal, but I had talked to her all day about paying attention and doing what she is told because we had had a few little things happen throughout the day, so by the time we got to soccer and then she still was not listening or paying attenetion, I was so sick of it (sorry Lisa, I hope she is better next week). I don't know what it is but I cannot wait for warmer weather so she can go outside and play ALL DAY! And on top of that Acen has been a bear! I think he is getting his top teeth, but he is very ornery, and not eating well, sleeping well, and wants nothing to do with anyone or anything! This is very unlike him, I bought some teething tablets the other day and this has seemed to help, he was not like this when he got his bottom teeth at all! I know I sound like a complainer, and I am not really complaining, but things would be a lot easier if either the kids were happier or we didn't have so much to do! Maybe that's the problem, they can feel how overwhelmed I am, I don't know!! Soon enough we'll be done with dance, and soccer, and the weather will be warm and we can go enjoy our summer days! So I applaud all of you that made it through this little "meltdown post" of mine, and I promise to have a happier post next time....wish me luck!

Busy weekend!

2008-04-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

We had somewhat of a busy weekend. Starting on Friday...I took Acen over to get his pictures done, I have been putting it off because he has a bit of a rash around his mouth, I got some cream from the doctor, but it only helps a little. He started getting it the last time he got his teeth, then it started to go away and then came back. I decided to just get them done since I had planned on doing a 6 month picture and he is now 7 months, I am behind. So the rash was not too bad so we went to get the pictures. We had a good time he did such a good job smiling, he was so happy! Gracie had told me she didn't want her pictures done so I didn't get her "picture" ready, then we got there and she wanted them (should have known) So the girl took a little snap shot of her too. We don't get the pictures back until the 28th so I will post them then. Sadie, Eric, and Laney came up for Taygen's play and since Gracie Acen and I had gone to see it on Thursday we didn't go to the Friday night one, and just met my family over at Kalli's for a little pizza party! We had fun, like always, and then Gracie was invited to sleep over at Kalli's, she was so excited! So we left her there and the next morning Sadie called (they stayed over at my mom's) and she said we are all meeting up for breakfast. So we went to breakfast, and my nice parents paid for us all, Thanks again mom and dad! Then we met them at Shad's parents so Laney could see the new twin colts, and all the other animals. She loved it and was so excited when Shad took her to pet the colt. Then we got all the horses ready and loaded up the horse trailer and headed to Lewiston to gate a few horses, so they have some idea as to what is going to happen here in a few weeks! I took the kids over to the playground while they worked the horses, and I was so mad I had forgot my camera because I put Acen in the little baby swing and he just loved it! He would squeal so loud, he could see his shadow and he would laugh at it, like it was another person or something, every once and a while a little breeze would pick up and it would take his breath away, I guess he needs to figure out how to breath with the wind! Me being the not so great mother this day forgot to put sunscreen on them so Gracie got little pink cheecks, luckily I had Acen's "racin" hat so he was okay, but it wasn't too bad now her face is just a little tan, and I have raccoon eyes from my sunglasses! Gracie had rode over with her grandpa, and when we got back she didn't want to come home with us, so she stayed there to help grandma and grandpa groom the horses. I can't believe she would rather stay there and work then come home with us!!:) So Shad and I hurried home so he could get ready to go to the Jazz game. His boss gave a few of them tickets in a suite. I was a little mad I didn't get to go, but it was for employee's only, so he had a guys night out, I guess it was good, he doesn' t do that too much, so I was glad he went and had fun. Finally about 10:00 Gracie came home! She watched some of the game and a movie with grandma. I was so lost without her, because Acen fell asleep kinda early, so I was pretty bord.. She had fun though like always, she loves to be with them. So anyways we were a little busy this weekend, but we had fun!

Busy day!!!

2008-04-08T20:16:00.000-07:00

DenTisT

SOccEr

We had a pretty busy day today! It started off with the twins being born (FYI Gracie wants to call them Rock N Roll) So after we went and saw them we headed to pick up Carson because I was watching him for Kalli, then we headed off to the dentist. We arrived there and they have a little play house so the kids were playing in it and when it came time for Gracie to go back she decided to hide and not come out, not because she was afraid, but she thought it was funny! The nurse kept calling her name and I swear if I could have grabbed her by her piggy tails in public without going to jail I would have! Everyone was staring and she was laughing! Not a fun moment. Then we get back there and she decides to play with the toys there and not sit in her chair, well I finally told her in my stern mothering voice that she better behave or she couldn't go play soccer later. Well that did the trick because she was very well behaved the rest of the visit. Which by the way we have a small cavity we have to go get fixed, I should have known this day wasn't going to go as smoothly as I had planned. I would have never known that when I scheduled this app. 6 months ago that she would have dance and soccer all the same day. So anyways, we leave there grab a bite to eat, and head for home. Acen was seriously sick of his carseat by this time, so the ride home was not so fun.. But we finally made it and then barley get home in time to turn around and go to dance, after dropping her off, I head home to get all her soccer stuff together, Shad calls and says he's at his dads the vet had to come help Silk with her placenta. and the colts needed some shots. So I stop by there and got the privilege of holding the enema bag for the vet to use on the colts, fun.. Then I go get Gracie from dance, get her a drink and snack, head to the soccer field, change her clothes in the car, pack stroller carseat, diaper bag, lawn chair ect...To go and sit in the FREEZING cold wind and laugh my guts out at these little kids running around clueless!! All in all it was a fun day, just busy! Sorry to bore you all, just a day!

Twins!!!

2008-04-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

We got another exciting phone call this morning from grandma Bev! Silk had twins!! We have been waiting for a week or so thinking she would have them, we knew she was getting close and finally this morning she did. We had no idea she was having twins, so we were extra excited!! It's very uncommon for horses to have twins and even more uncommon for both to survive and the mother, so we fell very lucky! Not sure if they'll be nice big race horses yet, but we'll see! Gracie was so excited and we were getting ready for our busy day that started at the dentist, so I told her if she would hurry and get dressed then we would have time to stop by and see them! I wish she was that fast every morning to get ready! So we stopped by and visited them, we didn't get in the corral with them because she kept pinning her ears back and plus she was having a hard time passing the placenta, so we didn't want to cause any more stress on her.. The colts came up to us and let out little whinnies, Gracie loved it!

Our fun Friday night....

2008-04-04T21:17:00.000-07:00

I was babysitting for Kalli today and Easton asked in his sweet little voice.."Aunt Becky do you think we could have a sleepover?" I mean who could say no to that! I was really glad to have have them and we had so much fun! They played outside most of the day and I barley even knew that they were here. Then we went for a walk up to the barn to do horses and they played hide and seek and tag, basically ran all over! They had so much fun! Carson was our biggest helper, he helped clean the stalls and made the time fly by telling us all his stories! Did you know he has another mom and her name is Sally? But she will never see him again because she moved to Mexico... Oh and his name is Alvin and he is a cowboy and he cleans stalls for work.. He has so many stories! He kept me and Shad laughing! I love them so much, they are so good and the only thing that could have made it any funner would to have had our little Laney! I wished she could have been here too! I know you are all thinking I am crazy to have all these kids and be wanting another one, but they are all such good kids, and so cute and funny and they all get along so good! Thanks Kalli and Clayton for letting them come over!

Thanks Jessica!

2008-04-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

So I have to say thanks to Jessica because we finally found a sippy that Acen will drink from! I have bought a few different ones and he has a hard time drinking from them because the spout was not all that soft so he would just bite it. Well as I was blog stalking the other day I saw that Jessica had bought Alisha this cup and it looked like a nuby but with the handles. I had thought about just buying him a nuby because of the soft spout, but I wasn't sure how he would do without the handles. So when I saw this I was so excited! I asked Jessica where she got it, and she said Target, but I wasn't going to Ogden until next week so I was kinda bummed, but then when I was at good old wally word I saw one! I was super excited (I know I am pathetic, silly things excite me) And I hated to be a copy cat, one of my pet peeves, but I really needed a cup for him that he could actually use, and I was sick of wasting $$ on stupid ones that don't even work.. So THANKS Jessica (sorry to copy) He loves it and can actually get a drink out of it, it has been great!

tO grAndMa's hoUsE sHe goEs....

2008-04-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

It was such a nice day yesterday, and Gracie wanted to go to her grandma's house while her dad rode the horses, so she decided to ride her bike, she is still trying to learn without the training wheels (I know she should know how by now, but I ran over her bike last year so she had nothing to practice with, she got a new one for Easter) she is doing good, but we didn't think she would make it all the way there without them, so anyways off she went, with Shad not far behind. She thought she was so cool! I think this might start a problem though because now today when she got mad at me she said "Well, I am going to ride my bike to grandma's because she's nice!" so I think we are going to have to set some rules with this.... She does tend to runaway sometimes! And Bev told me when Shad was little he used to do the same thing! I think we really need a leash!

ApRil FoOls!!

2008-04-01T22:04:00.000-07:00

When I was younger my mom used to do little things like this for holidays, and I thought Gracie would think it was fun. So today for April fools I put green food coloring in our milk. (It's hard to see in the pictures but it is a light green, I think I should have put more in.) She drinks milk a lot so I kept saying "Gracie do you want some milk?" she kept telling me "Not right now.." Finally at dinner she said she wanted some milk so I told her to go get it out of the fridge. She opened it up and looked at the milk and then looked at me and said "well, it's green..." I said "April fools!" she kinda looked at me like I was crazy..then she smiled and said "I don't even know what that is, but I don't want green milk!" I just laughed and explained it to her as best as I could. She hesitated, but she drank it and liked it, I just thought it was kinda funny.. Happy April fools to you all!

What a scary world..

2008-04-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

As I watched the news tonight and heard of the 7 year old girl who has been missing, and heard the terrible news of her death I was just sick. It scares me to think what kind of a world my kids are going to grow up in. You hear of this more and more and I can't help but think that it is only going to get worse. I took this opportunity to talk with Gracie about strangers and what she should do in that sort of a situation. I have talked to her about this a lot, but I think her seeing this on the news over the past couple of days made it a reality. I cannot imagine what these parents are going through. I know for me when I cannot find Gracie in a crowded place I am totally panicked and of course you always think the worst. I can't help but feel like I never want her to let her go anywhere without me. I know this is not possible nor is it fair, but I know that in an instant life can change. I loved the sign that they had up "You are never so lost that the Angels can't find you" It's so true, and so comforting. Anyways, I just wanted to post this because it gave me a lot to think about, and how grateful I am to have my kids at home safe in their beds. I couldn't quit hugging and kissing them, as if I need a reason..!

Silly girl..

2008-03-30T21:17:00.001-07:00

I had to put up this picture of Gracie, don't mind the "nice" PJ's she picked out, the nightgown is actually her costume from her part as Mary in our family nativity we did at Christmas, but she loves to wear it..whatever, we have to pick our battles.. Anyways, she fell asleep like this, which I think looks pretty uncomfortable..I guess all that running away and kissing boys must have tuckered her out! The other picture is of her in my dryer (yes no shirt, she hates clothing...not good, I know!) I had washed some of her jeans and she had left some small magnets in the pocket so they fell out in my dryer and were stuck all over, so she had to crawl in there and get them all out..She thought it was a ton of fun, but she kept telling me "now mom, don't start the dryer while I am in here okay.." Then she wanted to get in the washer, like it was some sort of game, I don't know what is so fun about that, but she sure thought it was silly!

Girls day!

2008-03-29T22:21:00.000-07:00

My mom got tickets to go to the womens conference so we made a day of it. Me, my mom, and my two adorable sisters (on the right) ventured out for a fun filled day together! We went to lunch, went shopping, and then we went to the conference. It was more for the young women, but it was kinda nice, it brought back some memories of when I was in young womens. I learned a lot and I think that it had a good message. I kinda forgot how much fun I had in young womens, and how important it was in my life! Thanks mom for such a fun day!

The new colt!

2008-03-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

We got a phone call today from grandapa Tim telling us that Princess had her colt! We were so excited! Gracie especially! No name yet but, he is so very cute, he's a little swollen, but all is well! I am so glad Gracie loves animals so much and that she has the oppotunity to be around them. She knows a lot about animals, and wants to be a Vet, but not if she has to see blood! I tell her that Vet's have to see blood, so we'll see!! I have to tell Tim and Bev thanks so much for letting her come over all the time and be around them, I don't know what I would do if she couldn't be around animals, I guess she would like other stuff.. It's just a lot of fun to see all the new lambs and horses!

Trying so hard!

2008-03-29T22:00:00.000-07:00

Acen has been trying so hard to crawl this past week or so. He gets so frusterated (sp) when he can't get going! He gets up and rocks a little then tips over..I don't think it will be too much longer and he'll be on the move. He scoots around alot, but he wants to keep up with his sister I think, and she is his little cheerleader. She tell him "c'mon buddy I know you can do it!" I think she wants him to get going too so he will be just that much closer to having someone to play "horse races" with!

You were WHAT??!!

2008-03-27T20:22:00.000-07:00

So I went to my friend Kesha's the other day to do our scrapbook club page for this month, she lives in a big subdivision in farr west. So it was a cold day, but not too bad and all the kids wanted to go outside to play. Well we thought this would be a great idea, that way we could get a little more done! So off they went, they gathered a few neighbor kids and they were all playing in the back yard. Well it had been a while since I had seen or heard from Gracie so I decided to go check on her. Well I couldn't see any of the kids! So I start calling her name.. no answer. Well I paniced only because she pretty much has free run here at our place because we don't live by a main road so I don't really have to worry too much when she goes out. I was also still a little nervous from when she took off at church the other day, thinking she could go home with Lisa's little girl Katelyn..a whole other story.....Anyways back to my this story. So after a few minutes of calling for her with no answer we decided to check at the neighbors house to see if they had gone in there. Well the neighbor lady said she hadn't seen them, but last she did see them they were in the little play house. So I ran to check there and there she was sitting on the little couch with the neighbor boy. I told her she needed to come with me because we were getting ready to go home. When we got into the car I told her I didn't appriciate her not answering me when I called for her. She said she couldn't hear me, and I said well It worries me when I can't see you and you don't answer me. She said and I quote "Mom I don't know why you worry so much I was only kissing him.."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I about choked on my drink and ran off the road! I said you better not have been, and she said are you going to tell dad? I said you bet I am! She said well I was just kidding then! Let me tell you I seriously feel like buying a cage like she is in above and not letting her out! Needless to say I felt this was an appropriate picture for this post! By the way we didn't put her in this cage she got in on her own and was pretending to be a dog. Although I really think it's a nice idea! What the heck?! "just kissing him.." uhhhh!

Chomper!

2008-03-25T17:59:00.000-07:00

If you can look beyond the messy face, you might see Acen's NEW TEETH! I could feel them a couple weeks ago, but they finally are big enough to see pretty clearly. I am so excited! Not that this is really all that exciting, but I guess I just know all the fun we have had so far is going to get funner.. if that makes any sense! Anyways just thought I would share our "new thing" with you all!

My "The Hills" obsession...

2008-03-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

So last night was the season premier(sp) of The HIlls. I know this is as stupid as my obsession with Beverly HIlls 90210, but I super enjoy this show! I think it's because I can relate to the Lauren and Heidi situation a little.. But I love drama (as long as it doesn't involve me or anyone close to me) So I guess I should say I love television drama! I can't wait for the rest of the season, I am excited to see what happens. Besides nothing really too exciting has happened here lately so these little things get me excited! Oh yes one exciting thing did happen...Miss Pepper Heart (Gracie's cat) killed a snake and left it on my door step! I love living on a farm!

Getting ready for the Easter bunny!

2008-03-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Today we went to my grandma's and had an Easter egg hunt. We just like doing the family thing better than fighting at the bigger Easter egg hunts. We had a lot of fun even tho it was a bit chilly! Then we headed over to my mom's for egg coloring and lunch. My mom made chocolate covered marshmallow (homemade) eggs! The were so good and the kids decorated them which they thought was tonz of fun! Then we watched a video that my dad had made on the real meaning of Easter. We had such a fun day! Happy Easter everyone!

Visiting Payden..

2008-03-20T21:22:00.001-07:00

Today we went to the cemetary to take Payden his Easter stuff. I didn't get Acen out because the wind was blowing and it was a little cold, but Gracie was excited to get out , like always! She loves to go visit him, she even drew him a picture, as you can see in the picture above. It's a picture of our dogs..why she drew them for him I have no idea, but I still thought it was nice of her. Everytime we go there when we get ready to leave she always takes the time to clean up any garbage that has blown by his grave, and then bends down to kiss the little feet that we had put on his headstone, which are the actual size his feet were, it's hard to see in the picture, but they were tiny. My heart melts every time.. We just wanted to say we love you Payden, and miss you so much!

Photo Contest

2008-03-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

So I entered Acen in a photo contest, it's on Parents.com, he's in week 3 and his enrty ID is 2465200018! So if ya get a min and feel like voting... I usually don't so this sort of thing but it was for babies in cute hats and I love this picture and I just had to do it! All in fun! Thanks!

OUCH!

2008-03-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

Today I was watching Carson for Kalli. So Gracie and Carson kept wrestling, and I had told them to stop probablly 10 times..Only because this past summer Gracie and Shad were playing around and she went to jump on his back and he moved and she fell on the floor, hit her head and was knocked out, and this scared me very bad because I thought she had some sort of brain damage, by the way she was acting, it was weird because she was out cold but she was shaking and acting weird, so anyways back to my story. Needless to say I don't like rough houseing anymore, so after I had told them to stop they snuck away and started up again.. So I could hear them and decided I was going to put them in time out, well just as I walked in the room they cracked heads, hard! I hurd the THUD and they both started to cry, Carson hit the back of his head into Gracie's eye, as you can see in the picture. I felt so bad for them, knowing how bad that hurts, but I had to tell them that I had told them not to wrestle and they didn't listen, so this is what happened. I think they both are the type of kids that have to learn on there own not by learning by what they are "told". Anyways this was my post for the day because it's about all I had..

Kindergarten here she comes...

2008-03-18T12:46:00.001-07:00

So today Gracie had Kindergarten round up and she was so excited! I was having mixed emotions..excited, disbeleive, sad, nervous. I just can't beleive she is so big! We ran into Courtney and Marcus so I was glad we had some friends there! I guess I just need to relax and know that she is just growing up and that it's a good thing! At least I can still baby Acen! I think Shad is having a hard time with this too, maybe even more than me! He told Gracie that she needs to stop growing so fast, he talks to her about boys and to stay away from them...all the daddy stuff. He is really close with Gracie, they are buddies and she has him wrapped around her finger! He is such a good dad! I think he would have me home school her if I could! Well anyways we are excited for this new adventure in our lives, even if it has come to fast! She is a good girl and she will do well, we love ya "cuddlebugs"!

Dress up!

2008-03-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I was putting away laundry (hate it) and Gracie said MOM you have to come see this! So I went to see what she was so excited about and...there he was with this silly pink gardening hat on that Gracie got last year for Easter! and the funny thing was that he actually liked it! So I just thought I would take a picture to share with you all!

Happy St Patricks Day!

2008-03-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

So we had a little pre-birthday dinner at my moms today and my funny sister Sadie got me dippin dots and cadbury eggs! (I will never ever be able to lose my baby weight!) Anyways for those of you who haven't seen my infamous "dippin dots" post you probablly don't think this is funny, but those of you that saw it know what the big joke is! Apparantly they have been around long enough that they are available to buy not only at big events but at walmart! I thought it was funny, so thanks Sadie for the gift and for coming up to my party! And thanks to mom and dad for getting it together! (we missed ya Kalli) she had to work.. But we had fun and the kids had fun. Well as another year has come and gone I look back at this past year and I have grown so much as a person and my life has totally done a 360! So many good things have happened to me, and I am truley grateful for my family, friends, and most of all my wonderful husband! I do have to say that I am truley starting to feel my age tho. A while ago Gracie had me practicing gymnastics with her and I thought (for some reason) that even tho I hadn't done any sort of dance or gymnastics in some time I would be perfectly capable of doing a cumersalt (sp) simple enough, right? Not even! If you haven't done one in a while try it! No dont! I was so very sore and it was no where near graceful! I hit so hard I thought I was going to fall through the floor! Gracie told me that I didn't land very good and I needed more practice..I will not practice I wouldn't even think of it! So as I am aproaching the big 30 (here in a few years) I am beginning to feel my age! I know it's not that old but I never thought it would get here so soon!

Disney on ice..

2008-03-16T17:59:00.001-07:00

Saturday we went to Disney on Ice and it was all the princesses. My mother in law was kind enough to buy us all tickets to go. Tasha was here visiting with the girls so it was a lot of fun for us all to go together. Gracie and Brooklyn dressed up like Cinderella, and they looked adorable! We had so much fun! Notice Brooklyns black eye...she got hurt on the tramp at her grandmas, it actually looks a lot better than it did when they got here. They left to go home today, we are so sad, but at least we got to spend a few days with them! They will be back in June for a few weeks so that will be a lot of fun! Thanks again Bev for taking us for a fun filled day! p.s check out Gracie's debut on my link to cute hairstyles she is so excited!

My little guy..

2008-03-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

So today Acen had his 6 month check up. He is doing really good! He weighs 16 lbs and he is 26 1/2 inches long. He's not as big as Gracie was at his age, and I know you really shouldn't compare, but maybe he'll be small like his dad and be a jockey (Shad hopes so)! Dr Loyd said he is doing really good though, he said we can try to take him off of his reflux med. and see how he does! (just because I refilled it yesterday) Also he said that his head looks good, for those that don't know his right side was a little flat, but he said it looks great and he won't have to wear a helmet! Yeah! It's so nice to hear all is well, and it makes you feel like even though you sometimes don't feel like you know what you are doing that maybe you are doing okay!! Gracie didn't want to come with us because she didn't want to see him get shots, but I think having her cousins here helped her decide! Although last time she was about in tears just watching. The doctor said that he has had other siblings actually attack him! Gracie cares so much for her brother! I love to watch them together, Acen loves her very much you can just see it in his eyes.

I just wanted to share a sad little story..Last night Gracie stayed with her cousins and Tasha said when they were getting ready for bed Gracie grabbed this little picture that Bev has out of Payden and she held it and said to Tasha "I just miss him, and I wish that he could just come out of this picture and be alive!" Tasha said it melted her heart! She is always telling me she wants to meet Payden and hug him and how sad she is that we are missing one of our family members, but I just tell her that one day we will see him again, and that he is watching over us so we need to be good and choose the right, she is so cute about it. I just have to wonder about why she thinks about it so much, and acts like she knows so much like she was here when it happened.. I wish I knew what went on up there before Gracie came here...There is just some sort of connection there, I know it sounds crazy, but I can just feel it!

Gracie playing outside..

2008-03-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Gracie wanted me to take a picture of her swinging so everyone could see how high she can go! She loves to play outside! Although I haven't seen her latley because she has been pretty much living at her grandama bev's because her cousins are here visiting. I am glad they are such good friends! Anyways, so this is for her and I know she will be so excited to see it on my "LOGG" as she calls it!

90210 addict! (lame I know)

2008-03-12T17:23:00.001-07:00

So I recently noticed that Beverly Hills 90210 is on the soap channel. And I have been watching it, I used to watch it when I was younger, and so I have been watching it again. Well to be quite honest I am so glad I have DVR because if by chance I miss it I can watch it later. It just so happens that it comes on when Acen is taking his nap! So anyways it's at the part when Dylan must choose between Kelly or Brenda! Today's episode he chose and as you all know (if you watch it) he chooses Kelly. So I was just wondering what you all think so I am posting a poll who do you think he should be with Kelly or Brenda.... I know this is lame but I love it, and lets face it sometimes you just need something to look forward to!

First outside stroller ride

2008-03-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I decided that we would walk up to the barn while Shad was exercising horses. So I got Acen all bundled up, I think I over did it! He was sweating when we got there! He loved it though, everytime the stroller would hit a little bump he would laugh! It was so nice to get out and it was actually pretty warm. Gracie ran almost the whole way, and when we got there she said her heart was beating to fast and she needed to go into grandma's house and rest and have a drink. Acen loved looking around at everything, and when we got in the barn he loved to look at the horses. When they would make noises he would just stare at them with amazment. He even would reach out to them with his little hand. I love to wonder what they think when they see things so big like that, and he wasn't even scared. I can't wait for it to be warm and we can walk up there everyday!

YEE HAW!!

2008-03-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

Last friday I was watching Carson for Kalli and Shad had the day off. So after he was done exercising the horses he saddled Boo for the kids so they could ride him for a minute. Now, Carson just happened to wear his cowboy boots and hat this day, so he was very excited! Shad said that when he got on Boo he grabbed his hat and swung it around saying "YEE HAW!" Shad was worried that it might spook him but he just stood there. He is so old and such a good kids horse! I think that Carson had a lot of fun and he was so excited to tell me all about it, and how he wasn't even scared and boo freaked him out, but he didn't poke his eye..(I have no idea what that was about). I am glad he had fun! I think maybe he should get a horse for Easter or somethin'!

New hat!

2008-03-10T08:06:00.000-07:00

I just had to buy this hat for Acen! I thought it was to cute and I thought it would be nice to have for the races so he doesn't get a sunburn!! He really likes it, notice the drull on his shirt... He is getting his teeth, they are having a hard time coming in but he sure is drulling a lot and his gums have those little cuts in them. So I will post a picture when they come in!

car seat saftey

2008-03-06T12:47:00.000-08:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=9pDnBO76RFM&feature=RecentlyWatched&page=1&t=t&f=b
I really enjoyed whatching this video I think you might also find it interesting. It really made me think, I would have a really hard time knowing I could have prevented one of my kids from being hurt or even killed, that's why I think things are this are important to watch because I bet you if this mother would have known all the facts before hand she would have done things differently... I think thats why she has put her story out there. Anyways just thought I would share this with you.

Play time!

2008-03-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

we had such a fun day yesterday playing with Tasha's kids! The girls did make up and chased each other around the house! They had so much fun! Acen and Ivee were so cute they were so curiose of each other! It was nice because we had been stuck upstairs all day because they were laying carpet, so we were excited to have some playmates! Thanks again for coming to visit!

Remodel complete (almost)

2008-03-05T07:39:00.000-08:00

We have been doing a little remodeling the past couple weeks. We try to do a little at a time. But we are finally finished with the basement part, just a few touch ups here and there. I love it so much! We put down some wood floor by the back door that leads to the downstairs, and put beadboard in the stairway, painted got new carpet and couches, and I love it! Its just new and clean ya know! So I took some pictures of our little project(that don't even give it any justice), and ya know how people say that if there is little white dots that it's like a spirit or something.. well there are dots in these pictures! Both of Shad's grandparents died in this house and I think they are still around! hopefully they aren't mad we are changing things a bit! I would hope they are just happy that we are taking care of it! Some weird things happen around here, but at least we know who it is, right? (we hope!)

Kid Tag!

2008-03-04T19:03:00.001-08:00

Gracie Jo Holdaway

1. I love to be outside! I would sleep outside if my mom would let me, even when it's cold, I love to be outside. My mom has to beg me to come in the house! I can find many things to do when I am outside. I love getting dirty!

2. I love animals! I love any kind of animal, I want to be a Vet when I get older and help hurt animals. I think my favorite animal is horses, I think they are amazing!

3. I love to help out! I always offer to help my mom and dad with everything! Even if it's too big of a job I try to do it anyways!

4. I love to meet new people! I am not very shy at all, I love to meet new people and go to new places, I am very outgoing!

5. I love going to the horse races with my family and watching my dad ride and helping my grandpa get the horses ready. I am my dad's biggest fan!

6. I am very creative! I love to help my mom scrapbook and I make decorations for my room! I love to draw things especially horses!

7. I love to hunt! I love going on the mountain with my dad and spotting animals. I usually can see them before my dad does! (I like to rub it in) I got some foot traps for Christmas, and we go check them, so far I have only caught a bird...

8. I have such a big heart! I love everyone and hate to see people sad, whenever my brother is crying I do whatever I can to make him happy! I love him and we are best buddy's!

**We love Gracie so much, she has been such a blessing to us. She can always brighten our day with her sillyness! She is such a good little girl and so very smart! We love ya Gracie!

Acen Shad Holdaway

1. I love to get and give kisses. When my mom kisses my chin I laugh very hard!

2. I could watch my big sister all day long, when she leaves the room I cry until she comes back!

3. I love to take baths! I would sit in the bath tub for hours if my mom would let me! I love to splash and suck the wash rag!

4. I love to sleep! I sleep a lot and Ihate to be woke up, I get kinda cranky!

5. I love my doorway bouncer! I bounce all day! I get very out of control! When my sissy plays with me and pretends to bounce I laugh at her very hard!

6. I am a rolly polly! I roll everywhere, and I get stuck by the walls and under toys and all sorts of stuff.

7. I am a hermit! I don't like to go out much, I get really nervous when I realize I am somewhere new. I hide behind my smiles!

8. I love to play in my crib and kick hard so everything moves, I could play in there for hours!

Acen has been so fun and we love him so much! He is definatley the peice that complets our puzzle! Love ya bubba!

We are tagging anyone who would like to do this! It was fun, and I had Gracie help me with things that she loves and with Acen's too!

Happ B-Day Laney!!

2008-03-01T15:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Laney! We had a fun party with Laney for her Birthday! She loves Dora, so of course that was her theme. She is such a funny little girl, and she has grown so fast! She loves Acen to no end! She is always wanting to help me take care of him. Oh FYI Eric made the dora cake by himself, so if ya want a cute custom cake for a Birthday or any occasion call him up! I am kidding of course, but he did really make it and I think it turned out adorable! So Happy Bday Laney , we are so glad to have you in our lives.

Dress up!

2008-02-29T19:11:00.000-08:00

I went to my friend Kesha's to get our scrapbook pages done for this month, and Gracie and Ally played dress up. They had a lot of fun, they were pretending to go shopping and they were pushing their baby dolls around. I think little girls are so funny when they pretend to be like moms, it really shows how much they pay attention to us! I hear Gracie telling her dolls stuff that I say to her, and it melts my heart! You can't see in the picture, but they had their high heels on clomping around and walking all cool. It was too funny!

New Jammy's..

2008-02-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

I had to go to family dollar yesterday to get some cleaning stuff, and they had some of their jammys marked down to $2.99. So I grabbed a couple of them for Acen. I bought 12 months because I thought they looked like they would fit him now and thought maybe he could wear them for a while, but I think he'll only be wearing them for a couple more weeks! I guess they run small. Anyways I thought he looked cute and made him look so big!

Manners dinner at school..

2008-02-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

So today we had a Manners dinner at school and parents were invited. Gracie told me that we were supposed to wear our sunday best. Well, I didn't feel like wearing a dress, although Gracie wanted me to wear this little teddy that my parents bought us for a gag gift one Christmas! lol! Needless to say I chose to wear a nice shirt and jeans, and boy was I glad because when we got there nobody was wearing there sunday best except Gracie! Her teacher thought it was nice of her to get all dressed up! Leave it to her..Anyways it was so cute! This month they have been learning about manners and they used dinosaurs like sloppyosaurus and rude rex, things like that. So the dinner was themed out in dinos. We had dino chicken nuggets, jello dino eggs, and mud dessert (chocolate pudding) with little dino eggs in it. It was so cute and we had a lot of fun. At the end Jamie gave them dino eggs (balloons) filled with a surprise. They jumped on them to "hatch" the surprise. We had a lot of fun, and I am so grateful for Gracie and how well mannered she can be!

Spring hurry please!

2008-02-26T18:20:00.000-08:00

So is it just me or is this the longest winter ever!? I know today was a nice day, but I want it to be warm enough that I can take Acen and Gracie and go walking or something! I thought maybe I could feel a little more cheery if I put this spring template up? Is it working for you, cuz I am still going crazy! I did have a couple things happen today that cheered me up though.. First of all Acen rolled across the entire room today! I was excited, but sad cuz I know he is going to soon be more grown up! Then Gracie had me laughing again, like always, she is so funny! She told me that she wants to be a baby again when I asked why she said that she is just so sick to death of being a grown up, and things were much easier when she was a baby and I would carry her around and feed her! I had to laugh, but I told her she has not even started to be a grown up and she should enjoy her youth while she can! She said that she would still much rather be a baby! She thinks way to much!

Tubby time!

2008-02-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

I hate to be one of those moms that post everything, but I just had to put this up! I think the first year they grow so fast and learn and do so much that is so exciting when something new happens! Las night I put Acen in the tub in his bumbo (thanks Sadie) and he loves to grab at the water so I scoot him close enough to touch it. Well last night he stuck his whole head in, I thought he would start to cry, but he started laughing so hard! He loved it and he was so sad when we had to turn it off! Too cute!

Holdaway Look-alike Meter

2008-02-26T08:16:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Holdaway Look-alike Meter

2008-02-26T08:11:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Roots - Pedigree